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Review:Sheriff says:
I got the reference to LEBS immediately... sadly it seems the fate of your Slytherin doesn't quite follow my timeline.

I think the result of the match is a great twist on the Quidditch rules - I know from experience that it's not easy to write the game and (i) keep it interesting and (ii) do something different - and you hit both.

We're back in a very, very dark place though, aren't we? Kenzie's still unconscious (hope he's alright), Nick's been beaten senseless and on her way to exclusion, and everything that looked good is all disintegrating before our eyes. Ouch.

I get the feeling we won't be taking it lying down, mind.

A couple of little spots, as you mentioned it was not betad yet:
* "as I was trying to stop the first Bludger from Kenzie" - missing a "hitting" in there?
* "After I heard the whistle, having finally gotten McLaggen’s attention, and my blood stopped pounding in my ears. Then the voices reappeared in my ear." - not a sentence, no verb in it

Author's Response: Ah, I'm so glad you got the reference. :)

Quidditch is rather difficult to write. I loved your spin on it, especially with the switching positions . so I'm thrilled you liked mine.

And we are back into the darkness. It doesn't get any better from here for another 5-10 chapters. It actually kind of goes even more downhill :/ Anyways, I hope Halloween lulled you into a sense of fluffy security so that it made the hit a bit more dramatic. That was kind of the point (I know I'm being kind of evil).

As for the little bits, I'm wincing right now. *goes off to edit* Anyways, thanks for the review, and you might be surprised at how Nick copes/what comes next. The plot's moving, though. :)

Thanks for the review!
Ellie


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