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Review:patroni says:
I loved this when I first read it, and I love it on my re-read! It's so much fun but there's a warmth and a depth it to, too. Calling it a 'half-parody' makes complete sense. Having established some elements of the parody early on the story (Hogwarts: A Romance which made me want to punch the air in happiness!), you've let it take its own life to the point where it doesn't seem like a parody at all.

In this story, we watch June grow up, bit by bit. But we're also watching Albus watch June grow up- here, in the Hospital wing, later, when they're standing in the snow, or in their respective verandahs. It's a really interesting dynamic, and I appreciate that it's not clunky words like 'love' or 'like' just yet, but more basic words like 'respect', 'regard' or even 'admiration'.

This is my favourite line in the story so far:

Suddenly, the possibility of not seeing Albus again floated into her mind.
She could almost shrug it off. Not just yet...Not tonight, but someday soon.


I love the honesty in her confession. Because of course there is a comfort in familiar 'enchantments'. To let them go is to break a force of habit. Acknowledging her weakness only serves to show June's growing confidence. It's beautiful section: real, quiet, and believable.

On the same principle, I found these two sections a bit rough:

It was time to let go of all the expectations she'd had. It was time to go into the world- independently. And-

Her hands were hurting and pulsating from the strenuous labor, but she felt newly purified as she wandered out the Hospital Wing.

These are more on the parody side of the spectrum, being quite dramatic. Perhaps you wanted to convey that June's tentative steps towards maturity are still dogged by the Romantic ideas about epiphanies that she'd have read about in her books, but I found them a bit less convincing than the rest of the chapter.

But what a lovely, lovely story! Yay!

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