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Review:Aether says:
Great job! I felt you really captured the emotions of your characters well. I absolutely loved the stream of consciousness part towards the end. :)

My only complaints are formatting stuff. This story would have been much easier for me to read and enjoy if you were to split up the very large paragraphs into two or three separate ones. Also, the spacing issues at the beginning are a little distracting.

I love the darkness in this story, and I think you do a great job of portraying it without glorifying it. The last paragraph is chilling and disturbing (which I love!). Nice work! Great writing!

Aether

Author's Response: I'm glad the Giant Sentence o' Doom worked for you - I was worried about that. :)

I was a bit concerned about formatting myself, but I honestly had no idea how else I could split it without compromising the flow of the story, so I just kept the intimidating paragraphing.
The spacing issues are a bit weird - I'll just have to type it up on Word in the future before I post, I suppose.

Yay for not glorifying the darkness! I was a tad unsure about that, because there is romance in it of a twisted kind, and it'd have been really easy to accidentally write the creepiness as romantic. Well, for me it would have, anyway.

Thank you so much for your review!


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