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Review:caoty says:
Hello, I'm here from tag.

Your storytelling style is fabulous. There is something lyrical about the line-paragraph-line structure of each scene, and I love the bits in brackets; they're like a voice in your head, one that whispers your inadequacies and your bitterness. Or something. In your position, I would have kept the whole thing in third person, because the poisonous loveliness of the brackets was lost somewhat when Dominique talked for herself.

Actually, it was so good that I managed to forget I was reading an OC romance and a good girl-bad boy romance, two things which I usually hate.

One thing, though: how likely is it that a girl who is one-eighth Veela and descended from heroes is bullied due to lack of attractiveness all that time? This question bugged me throughout, and so I guess this story requires a certain amount of suspension of disbelief in that respect. I don't know. Maybe it's just me.

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks for the review.
The thing is, if I'd kept it all in third person you wouldn't have had the same bracket effect, because the brackets originated from the first person sections when I did something like 'no one can tell if you're crying if you walk in the rain (I ran)'. So it's a bit of a paradox, your suggestion, because without the first person I wouldn't have had the parentheses at all :P I'm so pleased you think it was well told though, that means a lot :).

Er, yeah, well she is only an /eighth/ Veela and the way genes work means that she didn't necessarily get beautiful features or anything. I can see your point though, and I'm sorry if it bugged you! It's just a small thing that I wanted to include to make the story make a little more sense.

Thank you for the opinions!
-LWG


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