|Review:||Violet Gryfindor says:|
But why? That is all I can ask right now: why?
It would be very difficult for someone not to ship Snily after reading this story, not just because it tears at the heartstrings, but I think more importantly because it's from Lily's point of view. That's a major factor in making it more believable. It wasn't just Severus's unrequited love; she loved him too, and she could never tell him. All of those moments that she could not speak, both as an observer and within the memories themselves, those hurt the most to read because imagine what would have been if she hadn't remained silent! How much it could have changed!
Unless, as a Snily shipper, I'm deluding myself into thinking that it would make a difference. Like Lily says, nothing stays. A person can't be sure of anything because one never knows when it will vanish, move on, change. Snape could have been the one to change, or something else would have happened - perhaps they are the ill-fated lovers, never meant to be together, but meant to change the world separately...
*becomes sobbing mass of goo*
The image of the flower had me feeling saddness from the beginning. It reminded me of the HBP film and Francis the fish, only there is more darkness to Snape's preservation of the Lily. It is dusty, a venerated object that he can't even bear to touch lest it break and he lose all of her. It also represents the containment of Lily, that he keeps the flower in a jar like he keeps her in his memory - he has control over the flower like he could not have over Lily, her independence and affection for James. But he isn't obsessive over it like some would be - he looks at it, but cannot touch it, mirroring the way that he could look upon her (at her wedding, for instance), but never physically touch her.
Now that I look back at the colour you chose for the lily, is it one that he took from her wedding? The funeral lilies were white. oh god, I'm reading way too much into this.
The ending is very interesting because you refuse to provide closure. The happiness of their reunion is marred first by her admission that she will return to James (leaving Snape where.? She doesn't even think about that, which reveals a bit of selfishness on her part) as well as by her uncertainty. It is all too perfect, that they should be in heaven together and she can, at last, have both the men she loves. But if it is a dream, then what? She questions everything she has seen within the story, and thus questions memory itself. She has seen Snape's memories, or are they what she imagines his memories to be? But then, what does it mean if it's real? It does make sense that she would hesitate after waiting so long to see him again - people change after seventeen years, and if anything, Snape's passion and devotion have grown exponentially. Lily has derided the way that he has kept the lily in the jar and the sentimentalism it represents (I loved those darker aspects of her character, by the way - fabulous characterization!), so what will happen next, just beyond the story's end? *flails*
I'm glad that you didn't provide the answer. It makes things so much more fun. I love stories that make me rip out my hair and run around screaming and theorizing - sad, but true. I loved this story, and I want to say that it's now my favourite of yours (expect me to say this about whatever you write, though - that's what seems to be happening with me and your stories). What you've done here is incredible. There's nothing more to say.
Author's Response: Just when I think you're going to run out of steam, Susan, you leave me yet another monster review that has me flailing for hours afterward. I'll try to respond now, though :)
I can tell that I made your head spin a little, which is great, because my head spins a bit when I think about this ship. There are so many possibilities - the two of them are a force to be reckoned with on their own, but imagine if they were together! My goodness.
I love the image of that lily, as bleak as it is. It was one of my original ideas for this piece. It's like Francis, in a morbid way, just as you said - unlike Slughorn, Snape keeps Lily in a jar to hold her captive rather than simply admire her from afar. He can't really enjoy her, but this way he can have her to himself. In the same way, I imagined Lily here using the Pensieve to hold him captive, to watch him without having to give up her true life.
The lilies at the wedding were actually pink - they were supposed to have a more cheerful, girlish feel about them. The white lilies, though, albeit a traditional color for a bride, represent for me here an image of Severus's love drained of life and color - lifeless.
I guess I can't get myself out of the original AGPR mindset, because I keep switching Lily and Severus in my head to keep it interesting. For the ending, I kept thinking of how Snape would react if he got to see Lily again, to hold her - he probably wouldn't know what to do, wouldn't know if it was safe to touch her. I imagined Lily handling this reunion with the same tension and fear, mingled with joy. She loves him, and yet she is afraid to love him.
You are wonderful, and your reviews always make me think, which I love. Thank you! :)