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Review:distantgalaxy says:
Hi, this is your requested review :)

I really like the way you describe the wolf's desires and that you refer to it as another person, and not Remus. Your description of the wolf and it's traits is really well done, and adds a whole deeper perspective to what JK has already given us.

You've also written Remus really well. The last paragraph of the first section is really pivotal as it tugs at the readers heartstrings and you really do feel pity for Remus as much as he hates anyone to do.

Good decision to write the second part of the chapter from the wolfs POV. It shows that he isn't really a monster per say. He feels just as imprisoned as Remus, and all he wants is to run freely. He also attacks the marauders not because he is evil and lusts for blood, but because he is protecting his territory. This really helps the reader connect with both Remus and his Wolf character. However, when we read the last part about him wanting to kill...it becomes a little contradicting. I'm not sure if it was your intention to humanize the wolf a little bit throughout the chapter, but if it does then I can't see him wanting to just kill. Maybe, along with that last sentence you should add additional information. Maybe he wants to kill to get back for being locked up for so long? Because his instincts tell him to do that and only that? Anyways thats just my personal thought :)

Lovely start to the story! Keep it up!

Author's Response: I see what you mean about the last line. I was trying to show that Remus and his werewolf were not a monster that I totally didn't see that the last line can be seen a contradictory. What I was to get across is that the werewolf will run by instinct...he was hungry and wants to kill...however I forgot to add the 'hungry' part which is the reason behind the last line.

Other than that, I'm really glad that you liked the wolf's characterization. It was tough trying to get down to an animal level and bring that across without being too descriptive and without much dialogue.

Anyway, I'll go ahead and change the last line before I update the next chapter. Thanks a lot for your feedback!

--Perelandra


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