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Review:academica says:
Hello! I'm here from Slytherin Review Tag :)

I really liked this chapter. I thought it was neat how you alluded to Draco losing his wife, mostly because it's fresh. I was afraid he was coming to the funeral because he and Hermione had a sordid affair in the past, but I like your twist on things. I also thought the funeral was well done and very emotional, and I liked the imagery you used, especially with the flowers there at the end.

It can be very hard to avoid cliches sometimes, but I would try to watch out for them with this piece. In particular, the idea of Ron having an affair with Lavender seems a little cliche to me. To improve it, you could really work on fleshing out her character; for example, maybe you could make her a friend to Hermione instead of an enemy, like I often see.

I saw a few technical errors, but nothing huge. I also really liked your characterization of Ron, Harry, Ginny, Neville and Professor McGonagall. Your ending is intriguing, too - wonder what will happen next?

Nice work! :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: hello there amanda! (and congrats on winning slytherin feature story of the month!)

i know the Ron/Lavender affair is too common but i thought it fit; i'm thinking of adding a little more in her character but i haven't decided yet..

as for draco, well i don't like the fics that simply state their relationship; i want to see how they fall in love because it's a couple that (unfortunately) didn't happen.

i will def revise the chapter before submitting the next chapter!

i'm glad you liked it and i hope you'd come back and read some more!
~marlita


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