OH HEY THERE SCOTT.
So, I'm going to try and jig your memory of something here. So think back to er, say... February. You might have this vague recollection of requesting a review from this really rude author who never turned up to review your story? Hmm? No? Yes? Well, see, that author may or may not have been me, so I may or may not be here to finally come and review your story.
(That actually translates to I'm so very very very sorry that it took me three months to get to your review request - my bad).
SO. REVIEW. You have a really nice crystal way of writing. It's really clear and crisp and it just flows really nicely. Normally, I think a lot of mediocre authors fall back on having ultra-dramatic scenes in their first chapters but the way you wrote this scene didn't feel like that. I'm talking (albeit rather inarticulately) about when you get these running-away-scenes which just seem unfounded and appear to be written by pre-teens looking for drama and funsies, but this isn't like that at all (I know, I know, why bring it up then?). So, yeah, I thought this was a really good crisp clean first chapter. Very shiny. And you manage to put an enticing amount of drama in it.
Gosh, why do I volunteer my reviewing services? I'm so out of practice at this. ACK. Okay, CC. Erm... write more? Yeah. No updates yet? Tsk tsk.
“You know what? That has to be one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever had to make.”
^ I really liked this line. I think it told a lot about the relationship between Draco and Scorpius through very little. To me, it seemed like Draco was just throwing the ultimatum out there - not in a serious way, just as like one of those things you say in an argument when you're feeling a bit childish. So for Scorpius to take him up on it is definitely interesting. I think it reveal a lot about Scorpius and makes think you've probably got loads of delectable layers of well developed characters to hit us with in the next chapter (where is that, by the way?)
So, yeah, I think I've more or less failed on all accounts: being punctual, making sense and providing constructive criticism. But, hey, I showed up eventually right?
I'm sorry this is so terrible. No, really, I am. I think I need more sleep.
Author's Response: You know how you a story review a long time ago and the rude author never replied. Well, now they are. :P
I'm really glad that you liked the style in which I wrote this. A clean, crisp first chapter? That sounds a pretty good response to me. :)
To be completely honest, I didn't read as much into that line as you did, though I'm glad it had that effect as all of what you said is true, in terms of the characters in my mind. The next chapter, revealing a little more about both of them is... lost in the post? :S
Thanks for the kind review!