Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:WeasleyTwins says:
Hello, WeasleyTwins here with your requested review! I would like to apologize for the slight delay.

Okay, so right to it then. If you're worried about your writing doing the ship justice, I definitely think that you have /nothing/ to worry about. Your style is fantastic. The long, intricate sentences are very lovely and seem to suit your style quite nicely.

In response to the flow of the story, I absolutely enjoyed it. The descriptions really emphasize Remus's struggle to command both the past and present as separate entities, but he never quite accomplishes that. It's interesting to witness how the past truly never leaves him and he is forced to contend with it in his present. I found it to be very classy and an excellent usage of that particular technique.

I found that the flow compliments your characterization of Remus perfectly. He's so torn between what he knew and what he knows now - I would have sworn it was canon, you wrote it so convincingly. I like how you've reminded us in subtly about Remus's condition without over-emphasizing the point. Honestly, I really don't have anything else to say about your characterization other than the fact that it was well-executed and complimented your descriptions and the emotion of the story. Oh, speaking of the emotion. God, it was fabulous. I'm a terribly ridiculous fan of angst and you've given me such a good wonderful bucketful. It was amazing, like eating a chocolate cake (because angst tastes just like chocolate, don't you know) :P I found it interesting that you've given us this sense of...well, I thought it was all rather Faulknerian. The past plays such an important role in the present and one never truly escapes the sins of the past, but at the same time we are so bombarded with all these emotions. It's so Faulkner, but a milder (and more manageable) version.

Your imagery is brilliant as well. My favorite part is probably the first section. He was so twisted in the sheets of the bed and yet so entangled in his memories, it was all very surreal. I felt almost as if I was Remus. You really brought the imagery away from the page and actually into the mind of the reader.

I honestly don't have any CC (and I usually do), but this was really good! I didn't see any discrepancies that needed pointing out. I think this is a fabulous oneshot!


Author's Response: Hello, and thank you for stopping by! I apologize that it's taken me a while to respond to this.

It's great that you liked the flow and felt like the writing style and imagery were effective. I've never written this ship before, and the person I wrote this story for is fairly legendary when it comes to Remus/Sirius, and so I really wanted to get it right for her. (She wrote me a wonderful Snily piece, and it was the least I could do to attempt her OTP in return.)

Angst does taste like chocolate! (Delicious, addictive, wonderfully rich chocolate.) I agree that Remus is probably the perfect character for exploring the theme of the past melding with the present, of never really being able to escape one's sins, and I'm so pleased that it worked well for you here. As for the imagery, the description in that first section was my favorite to write, and I'm happy that you really felt drawn into it and thought that it did something to make the piece more effective.

Thanks again so much for your kind review :)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 807
Submit Report: