Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:LunarLuna says:
Review Tag! :)

Okay so first off I wanted to say that this was super cute! :3 And funny^^ Haha I was laughing when Tia was punching her friend, made me think of my mom and her best friend (except this actually hurts my momís friend! Power-woman I tell you!! xD) I love that all your characters have personalities and flaws, too often (and especially in Next Gen for some reasonÖ) characters have little to no flaws, which really gets on my nerves personnaly (Characterisation being one of my rare strong points xD) but I think youíre doing it super well!!^^ Keep that up! :)

One thing Iíd comment on is perhaps you might want to insist on some things a little more. As in Tea is super angry with Hugo and rambles on about how late he is, but when he arrives, she forgives him instently. It might just give a little more OOMPH to the story if you started it when Hugo was arriving, and had all that rambling thrown at him, instead of just before, because if youíd have went on about that after Hugo arrived I get that it wouldíve sounded repetitive, but now it just seems slightly unrealistic. Donít worry about it though, just suggestions and me being picky;)

Oh another thing Iíd like to point out: I think your plot-y thing with Eleanor is definitely interesting. Iíll be following this, and giving reviews relatively often ;)

Hope I wasn't to harsh with all my CC :/ Cus it's a great story!! No seriously keep this up, itís lovely!^^

9/10

~June

Author's Response: Reading that about your mum made me laugh ^_^ and it makes me glad that Tia punching Hugo makes you think of that :P Eek really? Characterisation is a big worry for me so I'm so relieved I've done it well!

And yeah, they're some good points and I might have to go back and add a little but of that in because I read it back and she does forgive him awfully quickly O_o

Your CC wasn't harsh, in fact it was very helpful! Thanks so much :)

- hetty


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 833
Submit Report: