This is definitely something special and lovely.
From the very beginning you had me hooked. The use of the second person was a smart touch, making me want to know why 'you hate me'. Also, the way you introduce us to both the twins with this sort of metaphor, how Lysander is jealous and Lorcan is 'perfect'. He probably isn't, and he probably isn't that empty either, but what is great is you gave us a very personal POV on him.
All Lysander's feelings and thoughts were perfectly written, I could almost feel the hate tickling in my stomach, complaining and asking me to let it out, even if it wasn't mine. Even if it is actually just a story, Thing is, you make it like it was something more than just a story. Twins are often mistaken when you haven't taken the time to get to know them. And I can only imagine how painful it is for one of them being mistaken, then recognized and ignored. You made me feel sorry for Lysander, and want to hug him, tell him how great he was if he put jealousy apart.
And ugh, Rose's fiancé. For a moment I thought you were going to merge the 'you' and the 'he' into one, making Lorcan Rose's fiancé. I thought it was really touching that Lysander gave her a book, it reminds me a lot of Hermione's presents and you're characterizing her well. Their relationship is just so refreshing, him loving her, her thinking of him as a brother, and them not ending together.
We can see why Lysander feels so miserable, and blames it on his twin who is carefree; yet he knows it's not entirely his fault. But having someone to blame it all on is obviously easier to him, and his hurting is palpable through your words.
I wish I had seen a little more insight in the old Luna we know, but her becoming a great mother was great and I loved her. She was really a character to love, though I don't think she would have lost all her 'dreaminess'.
So overall, I loved the feelings that were easy to follow, and the use of the second person. Characterization was great and mostly for Lysander. Would you hug him for me? ;) And once again, your one-shot skills and writing are beautiful, which is why I wish to have seen more from Luna, that being the only think I could criticize. And just for the record, even for what you showed us of Lorcan, I don't hate him. haha.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for the long, detailed review! I came into this intending to use the second person POV to my advantage, and I think it worked out nicely for this situation. The entire story is directed at a single person, so it fits. ;)
I've heard from a few different people that they thought Lorcan would turn out to be the fiance, a scenario that never even crossed my mind while writing this. But it's a good idea, and would really bring the story full circle, in a way. I like the way you guys think. :D
You definitely got where I was going with Lysander, that he was blaming some things on his twin that weren't necessarily Lorcan's fault. I tried to give Luna a bit of herself in this, keeping up with her plain yet wise way of putting things, but she had such a small role, that never really shone out properly. I may go back and add a little to her, though. You make a good point. Thank you, once again!