Hi! Here with your requested review :)
Ooh, I entered the same challenge! I've been meaning to read some other entries so this is a perfect opportunity! Plus I love a good Neville/Hannah any time.
I love that they named their son Frank and daughter Alice, so adorable. I think you captured the beginning moment really well when you had little Frank get upset at the simple idea of his mother being sad-- it was a really sweet portrayal of a child's innocence. It's good to see Neville in a fatherly role, as well, and that Frank looks up to him so much.
If you go back and edit I think you should have Neville and Hannah give their kids a bit of a warning before dissaparating them the first time. Even if it's just a simple 'hold on tight to daddy, honey!' before they go, I think they need to say something before they just appear somewhere else a moment later. I thought it was really adorable how Frank immediately thought it was 'cool' of his dad, but I kind of thought little Alice would be scared or something without any notification.
I did feel the emotion come through as I read Hannah's apprehension of not wanting to explain death to her child. I can't even begin to imagine how I would do it, so I can't even begin to grasp how she must be feeling with the badgering at her father-in-law's funeral.
I thought the interaction between Ginny and Hannah was very sweet. I love your portrayal of all of your characters as new parents; and the 'setting up' Albus and Alice was adorable. Plus I love that you mentioned James was a nightmare as a baby :p I like how you've managed, even through the first half, to keep me smiling at the small things even though I feel sad about the grave nature of the death of a loved one theme.
Everything flowed well, and all of the notable characters were portrayed loyally to the books. It was good to see Neville's grandma there, and being supportive of him. I thought the way Neville didn't want to explain to Frank at first was very true to his character how he braved the hard situation at the end and did what had to be done.
The sermon was very beautiful; I think you captured the saddened remembrance of an old friend very well in the way that Frank Sr.'s friend talked about him. It was way too adorable and heart wrenching how Hannah noted that Frank Jr. was listening intently to a story for the first time in his life. You've done a really great job capturing the innocence of a child in that aspect as well as throughout the entirety of the story.
I think you did such a fantastic job making this a believable and meaningful one-shot. I'm not very good witch children, but you made Frank's understanding of death very true to what I remember when I was little.
I would be interested in reading the story of Alice's life, so if you get around to writing that request for it! Thanks so much for sharing such a beautiful story!
Author's Response: Oh really? I'll have to go check yours out! :D I know, I really liked this challenge, it gave me a reason to write for a little kid, something I normally wouldn't have done :p
I'm glad you like how the family is characterized and that Frank Sr. was in it. I think he played a really big role in how Neville grew up so he will definitely play a big role in how little Frank grows up, too (:
Ohh, good point about the Apparating! I'll be sure to go back and see if I can fit it in somewhere :)
Oh, good, I'm glad the emotion came through for Hannah, she's kind of a difficult character to write, but at the same time she's pretty easy because we really dont know too much about her. I know, it would be horrible, wouldnt it? I really hope when I eventually have kids that they arent that young to have to go through death, it would be terrible! :/
gah, I'm so happy you liked their characterization as parents! It's going to play a big role in my other story, so I just haaad to add it in there as a sort of foreshadowing :D Especially the Alice/Albus part! ;) (can you say spolier?! ;P)
I'm just so happy you liked it :) I really fell in love with writing this story so I'm happy to hear how believable you thought it was. Thank you sosososo much for the amazing review! You made me smile so much(:
Ohhh, yay! I've got the first chapter of that story done but I'm going to write a few more before I post it ;D I'll be sure to let you know when it's posted! Thanks again!