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Review:dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap says:
Since I was in the cellar of the castle and therefore submerged, each window was a portal to the great lake.

You made me fall in love with your descriptions all over again. That's a lovely image right there and 'portal' just takes it over the edge. I imagine something more than a window, a journey that is ready to unfold outside his bedchamber.

What did it really matter that Potter had an unfortunate childhood? So did countless others who did not receive special attention from the headmaster. A troubled past was even more of a reason to impart stern guidelines now while the child was in school rather than have him learn later that being weak will not garner sympathy and special treatment from others in the real world.

^ When I read things like this I realize just how much Harry and Severus had in common and then I also realize just how much Severus didn't want Harry to have things in common with him. He pushes him harder than the others because of his hatred towards James but also because Harry could have ended up just like him, I think. If you analyze the situation and really think about it, it could have happened.

I could reason with the idea of being attracted to a woman. After all, attraction to the opposite sex was something ingrained in our very genetic code to guarantee the continuation of the species. But to fall in love? Love was a different matter entirely. Love could be as corrosive as acid, as volatile as nitro-glycerine, more intoxicating as opium and more deadly than the venom of the Inland Taipan. Only fools allowed themselves to become swept up in something so obviously dangerous.

^ There goes his insane logic again. He really seems to become unraveled by the faint thought, and this is only pure thought right now and not action, of actually falling for someone and being open to love. He just doesn't like his life out of order. Severus is very particular about everything. Avrille pretty much equals 'chaos' to him because he doesn't understand love.

I think that's what it boils down too. Sure falling in love with her within a week is ridiculous because he doesn't even know her, it's lust, but I think even that concept worries him. He has to break it down to a scientific aspect to understand it to him because it's such a foreign concept. He uses his work as an escape mechanism from digging into his feelings and accepting them for what they are.

Author's Response: I'm going to skip the polite modesty for a moment and say, yeah. I made Severus have a freaking AWESOME set of rooms. I seriously want to live there myself. It's funny how I'm pretty sure on Pottermore it says that the Slytherin Common Room has windows into the lake as well, but I thought this all up years ago now, so it's cool when my ideas end up matching up with canon.

I think your insights into Severus/Harry/James are spot on and really interesting. Canon Severus had such a complex relationship with Harry because I do believe, like you said, that he half hated the kid because of how he perceived him to be like James but also half wanted to change him since deep down he knows there's some Lily in there as well. My Severus doesn't have quite the emotional baggage with regards to Harry since he wasn't in love with Lily, but I do think that he would have had a struggle wanting to sort of help shape Harry to be a worthy opponent of Voldemort but also have as little to do with the boy as possible.

Oh Severus and his insane logic. But here his logic and analysis is purely a defense mechanism. Like I said in an earlier reply, it's not quite so much that he doesn't understand love but more that he knows, because of something that happened to him when he was younger, he CAN'T fall in love because for him it would be incredibly dangerous. But I love Avrille = Chaos :)

Again, you hit the nail right on its head with the observation that at the moment it's lust and a physical/intellectual attraction of his to Avrille, but deep down he knows that he's on the brink of a very slippery slope downwards where if he doesn't stop imagining "what if's," it's going to be too late and there's no going back. Poor guy. I was really incredibly horrible to him in this story, but I only did it because he's such a strong character, and I knew he could take it and come out even stronger in the end. Thanks as always! ~Renny


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