Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap says:
I had begun to form a mental picture of the author as a sort of young Minerva McGonagall-type, complete with square spectacles. Never had I imagined that Mistress Asphodel would turn out to be so... well...

Leave it to Severus to compare Avrille in his mind to McGonagall. This just further proves that McGonagall is a fox and now I want to ship Severus/McGonagall.

So self-absorbed that it took an actual collision for me to even notice a beautiful woman, and then not even have the common sense or courtesy to ask her name or introduce myself.

That's actually really interesting because when I think of Severus I think of him being so in love with Lily that he was really more absorbed about her. I know that they were just friends in this story but it makes me question what type of person was Severus then when he was a death eater? What motivated him to join the Order and trust Dumbledore if he wouldn't have been as effected by the death of Lily like he was when he was in love with her. I suppose friendship is a strong bond as well and he could have been torn by her death and made him realize what he was doing was wrong because she was a good person and someone he cared for which would have shook his senses.

Oh wow. I was trying to do a well thought out review but I got lost in the conversations between Severus/Avirlle and then Severus/Lucius. The way you wrote Lucius! He seems like such a slimeball. I always thought he would have been a bit more caring towards his family in private but he just disgusted me in this chapter. I felt a little creeped out by his behavior and to think Avrille blushed by his antics!

Besides the conversations and how you weaved the one with Lucius into canon I thoroughly enjoyed Severus's thoughts. I liked the way he thought about 'love' but gave it a fleeting thought and just pushed it right aside and then the way you connected the concept towards the end with his father since we know how awful he treated him but I can't wait to see more of Severusís internal struggle. I don't think he realizes his feelings have more to do with lust and the fact that he's attracted to her intelligence too. Then again I donít think he wants to feel any of those things, even if it could be fleeting.

Author's Response: McGonagall is a total fox. Severus with a Time Turner shipping a younger McGonagall would be pretty sweet (because otherwise we'd have a weird "Harold and Maude" situation going on, and that's not my cup of tea.) Not that Severus is sexist at all, but I think it would be hard for him to imagine many women could have both beauty and brains, assuming by the time they could get that smart they'd be 70 or whatever Minerva is. That was the only part about Avrille's character I ever worried about, thinking some might consider her a Mary Sue. I personally don't think she is at all, and I based her off of people I know who are actually super gorgeous and brainy (like my best friend). They do exist!

You'll definitely see later more about Severus's motivations for joining the Order back then. In my mind, I made him and Lily have almost a brother/sister relationship, so when he found out Voldemort was trying to find her baby and kill him, it not only made him want to protect Lily, who I imagine was the only actual friend he ever had and someone he would be fiercely protective of, even if they weren't speaking to each other because of the James thing, but it also showed him just how effed up Voldemort was if he was going to kill a new born just because of a stupid prophecy. So that's just a brief summary of his motivations there. But obviously I get more into that later.

Lucius is definitely a complete slimeball in my story, though a gorgeous one. I wrote this chapter before DH came out, so we didn't really have any inkling until that book that Lucius cared about his family at all. So even though we ended up seeing that he did love his wife and son very much, I decided to stick with utter-creep-Lucius because it's much more fun, and he makes a more believable "rival" than Lockhart for Severus over Avrille. And don't worry, Avrille wasn't blushing because she was flattered. She was just more embarrassed and feeling very awkward that this really hot, married guy, who she assumes is a friend of Severus's, was hitting on her right in front of her supervisor.

I had to give Severus different parents in this story since, as you'll see in a later chapter what Severus is referencing here, it was essential to my plot that his father was a wizard. I also assumed when thinking is up before HBP came out that Severus was bound to be a pure-blood, being the head of Slytherin and all. But this father was definitely still very horrible to Severus and his mother growing up. This thing that happened between them is also the direct reason why Severus can't allow himself even the slightest chance of developing serious feelings for Avrille. But since this is a super great romance story, I think you can safely assume he won't do so well with that :) Thanks for the review, and I am really SO HAPPY you like this story so much so far! I always get nervous when new people are reading "my baby" for the first time. ~Renny


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 122
Submit Report: