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Review:erinn1197 says:
Alright, I'm liking your idea for this story. So i hope you dont mind a bit of advice. There needs to be more development in the story. Everything seems too straight forward and rushed. Slow it down a bit. We have time. Add more description. To much dialouge can be over whelming. Also check your grammar and names of people. Like I saw some of this... 'rose Moncia Weasley' Dont forget that. Otherwise, very good story. I'm liking your idea. Now, onto to Chapter 2 :)
~Erinn

Author's Response: Thanks and the plot belongs to The_Seeker12.

This chapter had been edited and is waiting validation.

thanks again for the advice and review :)
-potterfan310
p.s how could it be slown down ?



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