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Review:Remus says:
Hey! I'm back! It's been a while so all your details of your story have left if I repeat any comments or questions...don't mind me :S


You have some wording issues. For example when Luscious say something about his new broom Sirius narrates that "Cissy answered my giggling and clutching his arm." I think you mean 'by'. That's all I spotted thought. Pure blood families are hard to track. Specially the Blacks, Malfoys and Potters. Was Dora really Walburga's aunt? I feel like doing some sort of family tree here! Hahaha!


Here's the thing with Remus that I think you're missing. He's suppose to be a werewolf yet he's not acting like one. I guess what I'm trying to say (after reading so many werewolf books) I'm now expecting a whole side of Remus that we've never encountered and that he managed to control with time. His anger and resentment vs. his own wolf's anger. Sort of like a split personalty. Perhaps Remus has better hearing, better agility (despite looking sickly) and strength thanks to his wolf side. I would LOVE for us to see that. He's still a child and a pup so to speak. If you could develop that, your Remus will develop a great deal. I'm saying it because your Remus sounds a lot like the adult one we all know and love. There has to be a time that his wolf's anger and range may surface and with time he has learned to tame.


I absolutely love how you had them find one of the many secret passageways. :D


The whole James/Lily conversation was great. In fact, I like the whole realization that not everyone grew up like him. It's something that hits some people in real life. I hear stories of how my friends parents used to treat them and that felt so foreign to me. My own future mother-in-law is a bit detached of her own grandkids while my grandmother used to be around us all the time she could and spoil us. So yeah, kudos on James' train of thoughts.

Overall, this is a cute story. The only thing I really recommend is you adding even more detail. Just a bit, really. Not something drawn on and on and on.

Anyway, on with the next chapter! :D

Author's Response: I'm so sorry for this extremely late reply! I've just finished my last exam which means I finally have time to respond to your helpful review and start writing the next chapters! :)

Oh! Thanks! I'll edit that in the next chapter update! :) There's a debate about it - according to the Black family tree, Dorea Black marries a 'Charlus Potter'. They have one son who is born in the same year as James and are all pure-bloods. It seems too coincidentle to me, and James is never mentioned of having cousins etc - but there is an argument against it! :P Look into it! xD

I completely understand what you're saying with remus - this side is actually in my plan to start appearing! In my head, the 'wolf' gets fiercer and more problematic as Remus starts getting older and changing himself (puberty) - so this side is coming! :D

Thanks so much for the lovely review - I'll respond quicker in the future! :)

Keira :)

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