Hello! I was planning on reading this a while ago, as I had caught rumor you had a new story posted [not stalking you or anything xD] but I just didn’t have the time to sit down and read it. But now that life has slowed down a bit [and you sent me a PM] I remembered I was going to read this. And I am very happy I remembered, because it was really fantastic!
You started out in a way that instantly drew my attention. The two word phrase ‘Desk duty,’ sort of caught me off guard, but definitely got my interest. I mean, I know desk duty is the usual punishment for people in the field who do something they shouldn’t, but I never really connected it with the magical world. Especially Aurors. But, you know, once I thought about it, it made total sense. It’s just at first, not what I expected. It’s not something I’ve ever seen in a story. Which is also totally awesome because it is very original.
And even past that first line, you really had my attention because of your description. You are specific with plain details, things people don’t pay attention to, and it really draws out how bored Louis must feel, noticing all of this. That and Louis emotion towards this work are so strong. I had sympathy for him because I could feel how he did. I think partly that has to do with second person [I will only bring it up once, I swear xD], as that always makes the characters seem more real, but the other part is that he is a really relatable character. He acts like any other person would in his position, which is really awesome.
Another thing I wanted to say was I LOVED Damien Inglesby’s character. He seems like the try-to-be-serious-but-fail-miserably sort of guy. And I don’t mean that as a negative trait at all! I really loved it because the way he talked and the air about his character [at least in my mind] was so definite. One of my favorite parts of this chapter is with his character:
“A young woman?” you blurt out. “For me? Are you sure?”
Inglesby’s mouth twitches involuntarily and he chuckles quietly.
“Yes, a young woman; yes, for you; and yes, I’m quite sure. She said you specifically.”
I don’t know why but that part made me giggle. I just…yeah. It was great. It really made me like his character, whether he ends up a minor or major character.
And since I’m on it, another line I really liked was this one from Louis: “(because it is, undoubtedly, a letter - you don’t need to be Dominique to see that one coming)”
Hehe. It is just an amazing line. It was another one that made me laugh.
So overall, this was great. I saw no grammar or wording concerns, although I thought at some points there were a lot of extra commas…that could just be preference, but really, this was fantastic! Can’t wait to read the next chapter!
Author's Response: Hey there - I'm so glad to see you stopped by as I always love your reviews! :D
I know - we don't really see any desk duty as such with the Aurors, most of the focus is on them going out and actually catching Dark wizards. I only remembered coz I remembered Tonks was on duty once in the books... I think it was in the sixth one, perhaps, or seventh... anyway, it was quite a fun idea! I'm glad you liked it!
Oh, Louis is very bored. Very, very bored. Haha, mention it as many times as you want, I don't mind! ;) It's so good to hear you liked the description. I was a bit worried when I wrote it that I was going way too overboard with the description, particularly when compared with how much plot there was, you know?
Damien Inglesby... you know, between you writing this review and me responding to it my plans for this story have completely changed, lol? He may now end up being quite a major character... or at least, more major than he was originally going to be.
Haha, thanks! I quite enjoyed writing that line - it's a bit of a hint for later events, as well ;)
Thank you so much for this lovely review - I really, really appreciate it!