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Review:BoOkWoRm24 says:
Requested Review

Hi so this was a good introductory chapter. I liked that you kept it relatively light and at the same time you kept a dark undertone with Remus bringing up the murders.

I thought your characterization here was fine. Everyone seemed quite believable. Particularly I liked how I can tell the difference between the Marauders. James and Sirius didn't seem like one person, I could see slight variations in their personallities. As far as Rora goes, I think she was believable too. She didn't come out and say that she was part of the Marauders (I have isues with stories that do this) but she also seemed like she could fit in with them enough that I could see her with Sirus.

I also liked how you didn't make Rora best friends with Lily. It makes things more realistic that each marauder would end up with someone from a different group.

There were a few grammar/spelling errors that I would go back and fix. Also I noticed that Rems/Sirius/James all have bigger roles than Peter who has one or two lines. Its good that he's there because I've seen fics where he's excluded completely, but keep in mind that he isn't exactly a complete wall flower among the Marauders.

Anyway I thought this was a good start to your Marauder story. Feel free to re request :)

-BoOkWoRm24

Author's Response: Thank you, your feedback is much appreciated!

I am so relieved you found them believable. I am so weary of having characters that are unrealistic/Mary Sue/etc. so that's great to hear!

And yes, I've actually been trying to figure out ways to work Peter more into the story since I also have seen him get left out so many times!

Thanks again, I will definitely be re-requesting soon! :)


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