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Review:TenthWeasley says:
Hi, Zayne! I was so happy to see that we'd been paired up for the review exchange this month -- it hasn't been that long since I'd beta'd this, and I'd actually been thinking about popping over here and leaving you a proper review anyway. So this is a two birds, one stone sort of deal. :3 And advance apologies for the delay in getting this to you. These past few days have been on the far side of crazy!

Your description and imagery in this were lovely. The way you chose to describe things, and phrase sentences, perfectly complements the story that you attempted to tell, and that really is admirable. So often authors stick to the same narrative style in everything they write, and that can get tiresome. This sentence especially grabbed my attention:

Her eyes met his, a clash of blue and brown

That sort of reminded me of the canon books -- how, in the end, J.K. Rowling wrote something about Harry's green eyes looking into Voldemort's red ones. And it hadn't ever struck me until that moment that their eyes were the opposites of the colors of their chosen curses, and I was duly impressed. But what I'm trying to say is that someone who pays attention to that sort of detail should be commended. :)

I love the fact that you chose to write a one-shot about Hannah, too, simply because she's one of the many, many minor characters in the Potterverse that just needs expanding on every now and again. We've got dozens upon dozens on James II/OC stories, but this is the sort of story there needs to be more of! I'm really glad I got to review this story properly, and definitely enjoyed it just as much the second time around. Thank you for writing this!

Author's Response: I know! I was excited to get paired with you, though a bit ironic since you had just beta'd this thing. :D

I was really wanting the description to reflect her feelings and what she was going through. I was hoping that it would make the emotions come alive for the reader. That was the most important part of this story i feel was to just get inside her head and to really explore something a bit more gritty.

I feel the same way about writing in the same narrative style. I get why many people do write it in one specific way, probably because they can do it well or it's the only way they know how to write and they were rewarded for it. There isn't anything intrinsically wrong with that because if you can do it well, why change? But for me, i think telling the story of your character is more important than telling that story through your own perspective, if that makes any sense.

I really love minor characters and i really appreciate you saying that because i'm not as interested in writing about stories that have hundreds of stories about them but would rather give voice to those who have none. Thank you for reading Jane!
-zayne


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