Hello, again! Back for another chapter.
It's very interesting to see Pansy make progress, or at least what counts as progress in her sheltered, sequestered life. All of the small details, like the way that her jaw hurts because she's so unaccustomed to smiling, give us a great impression of just how far out of touch with "normal" life she is.
"She believed that she just might be getting the hang of her reduced financial status. " - This made me giggle.
And then we come to the mysterious gentleman. You don't elaborate, but I guess we're meant to think that this is the same man who noticed her outside of Magical Menagerie in a previous chapter. You've certainly created an air of mystery around him, but in a very non-threatening way. He seems like a total eccentric, although there are plenty of simple, nice people in the world who come off that way.
Her nasty little assessment of Hermione and her reform initiatives remind us that she still hasn't given up on her ideals, such as they are. The line about institutions beginning to phase out the use of elves did strike me as a bit odd. I was always under the impression that Dobby was a bit of a renegade and that most elves viewed freedom as a great dishonor. Then again, perhaps Hermione has been more successful in your story. Regardless, it's a small thing.
When Pansy starts to get a bit terse with the mysterious man, it only reinforces the image of a smiling, impossibly happy eccentric, completely unphased by her bluntness. Either he's very taken with her or just very taken with life in general.
A protest against the merchants of Knockturn Alley? I guess I'd have to say, about time! You're the first author I've ever known to come up with that idea, but in a world devastated by the war, it makes a lot of sense.
I noticed two typos that you might want to take another look at:
-- "... she took care to smile at every person that passed by here and respond to those who greeted her." - passed by her
-- "Since she hadnít meet him before..." - met
Aside from that, the only constructive criticism I can offer is that the pace of the story is growing a bit slow. It's far from fatal, but it feels like it's been a long time since something significant happened to Pansy. I think that even something as minor as giving us more of a hint as to the mystery man's identity or his true intentions would have made this chapter feel like it advanced the story more. As it is, I feel like I'm waiting for something big to happen. And that's not a terrible thing. Every story needs chapters that are dedicated to character development and narrative. But I do think you need to get her back out into the world again soon.
Still enjoying this story a great deal. Your writing is fantastic. I love how smooth and effortless it reads, and your descriptions are lovely. Back again soon, I hope!
Author's Response: Thanks once again for reviewing! I always love to read your reviews!
Yes, Pansy's still very much the same as she was in the books, though she has changed to "adapt" to the new society. Pureblood values are still very dear to her but her family reputation is even more so, which will lead to her doing some very drastic actions.
You're correct in thinking that it's the same man as in the previous chapter and it's interesting to hear your thoughts on his personality! I'd have to say that he's more taken with life in general... And that he had more reason to stick near Pansy than Pansy knew. It was slightly hinted at in this chapter, but his job plays a large reason as to why he would stay near unpleasant people who clearly don't want his presence. I'm interested to see what you'll think about this when it's revealed in later chapters.
It's weird to think that no one else has written about a protest in Diagon Alley before but then again, I haven't read it either...
Thanks for pointing out those typos- I'll go and fix them right away.
As well, thanks for pointing the slow pace of the story out to me. I was trying to go slower, so that it didn't seem as though Pansy had spent no time studying whatsoever before N.E.W.T.s but I also don't want this story to drag. However, there are going to be a few discoveries in the next few chapters (the mystery man's identity will be revealed) and the N.E.W.T.s are rapidly approaching, so hopefully that will "speed up" the story.
I hope to finish the next chapter soon, so hopefully it will be posted within the next week and a half. Thanks once again for reading and reviewing!