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Review:WeasleyTwins says:
Hi, WeasleyTwins here to review!

I would like to begin by saying that your summary just pulls at my heartstrings. So much so that I thought I was actually going to cry. It's simple, yet seems so incredibly true.

You know, I really enjoyed the minimalist description. It worked very well with the story, actually. Because Molly has lost her memory, it seems fitting that the description is minimal and only serves to set the scene without overloading the reader with too much information. I think this is what made the story flow so smoothly. You've got description and dialogue in a good mixture, neither dominating the story.

As for believability, honest to goodness, you had me dying laughing. The sarcasm really makes Molly's character pop. It's as if some of her former self has been retained even after the accident, yet she doesn't really realize it. I like that it seems like an unconscious thing and she's not really aware that she has retained something of her former self, if one may call it that. I think you've got a great plot started here. I see nothing that couldn't be considered unbelievable. It's all very natural, almost real - you create an atmosphere that suggests that this is canon. This shows your confidence as a writer and when that comes through in the style of your writing, I think you've done a great job.

Your writing style and the techniques you employ are lovely. I believe they work quite well with the setting and mood of the piece. Even though this is only the first chapter (that I've read, at least), I think this story has some definite potential. It's so very intriguing, the way you've used the sarcasm and minimalist description to pull readers in.

Overall, I thought it was a very good first chapter! Please feel free to re-request!

Shelby

Author's Response: (so sorry I didn't reply sooner, my internet died. I've managed to revive it, but I doubt it will live long...)

Hey! Thanks so much for the review, I am so incredibly happy you enjoyed it so much :D
*dances*

...I'm not sure if the minimalistic description was my intention, or just me being bad at writing descriptively, but thanks, I'm glad it works with the story!

I'm so glad you liked the sarcasm! I didn't want Molly to be really sad, and I thought happiness was unbelievable, so I settled for this mix of it with sarcasm- which was supposed to be from her original character.

Thanks so much for such a wonderful review, I'm so happy. Thank you!


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