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Review:WeasleyTwins says:
Hello Charlotte! I'm here to review!

I haven't read the other series that you mentioned, but this reminds me of Pride & Prejudice. Granted, I've never read the book (-gasp-), but only seen the 2005 version of the movie. Anyway, I thought this chapter was absolutely delightful. I honestly don't think that you should be concerned with it being too Victorian. It obviously has that air and you've used certain descriptions and a diction that exudes Victorian, but I think it works wonderfully. You do an excellent job keeping the story in a realm that most readers are still going to enjoy, if you understand my meaning. The Victorian nature of the piece isn't overwhelming.

The flow of the piece is excellent. Your prose is lovely and makes it a smooth, easy read. As for your characterizations, I think you've done a fabulous job. As I was reading, I was on the lookout for anything that might have been lacking or needed fleshing out, but honest to goodness, this chapter was brilliant. Your descriptions, character interactions, and internal dialogue are excellent. I found it all completely delightful and such a joy to read and review.

I enjoyed some of the subtle humor that you inserted. "Her mother hushed her with a small flap of her hands." - I literally thought I was going to die laughing. I can actually see myself doing that (which I really do all the time). That simple bit of description I found incredibly funny and something that can really connect readers to the piece and give it a sense of reality. The first section that had a excerpt from The Prophet had me rolling. It was just so Victorian and fantastic and old-fashioned. I find these kinds of things funny, you see - I'm an unusual sort.

Your characterization of Fleur is brilliant. Like, BRILLIANT. I love her demeanor, her observations, her hesitant to be self-confident. Overall, Char, after this chapter, I think you have a real winner here on your hands. Keep it up, my dear! Wonderful.

10/10
Shelby

Author's Response: LOL, I won't judge if you haven't read Pride and Prejudice, but I'd definitely jump at the opportunity. Though the 2005 movie WAS fun to watch (Matthew MacFadyen mainly *sigh*). I did want to give it a Victorian air but not overwhelm it and so you saying it isn't overwhelming is awesome :)

I'm glad that the flow and pacing was excellent. My worry over the characterizations has been soothed to a degree (because the challenge is going to be KEEPING it good).

I LOVED the image of a mother flapping her hands at her daughter and it's SO something someone like the Apolline in my mind would do so I had to put it in there. I'm so happy that you caught it! I'm also glad you liked the newspaper clipping!

I'm glad you like my Fleur!! I made her different from the Fleur we know and for her to still be someone you like I'm more happy than you know! Thank you so much for this!

xChar


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