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Review:DracoFerret11 says:
Me again, dear. :]

Continuity: At this point, the boys are only fifteen. I can understand if they've learned to apparate (I'm not sure the Ministry has controls on that), but they wouldn't be able to do magic (like when Peter uses the "Alohomora") outside of school. The Trace is still on them, so the Ministry would know and they'd be in deep trouble.

Characterization: Caprice isn't brave anymore, haha. She's TERRIFIED of Reg. Whose characterization I'm not sure of. I understand that he's not a nice kid, but he's fourteen right now. He didn't join the Death Eaters until he was sixteen, and nobody knew about the Horcruxes, so why does he think that locket is important? (I might be getting weighed down in canon, haha) Anywayyy. I love the Marauders. I like that you touched on the fact that none of them considered just how serious Remus's transformations were until they saw them. Well done.

Descriptions: I think you did beautifully the whole chapter. The scene at the beginning was very dramatic, then the Marauders part was incredibly detailed. Great job.

Emotions: I really felt Caprice's fear of Regulus at the beginning. Very evident. And I felt the Marauders disappointment when their plans didn't go exactly as they wanted. The emotions brought things to life. I liked them a lot.

Plot: WELL. I'm interested to see what's going on with Regulus and Sirius! And for goodness sake! That Jason guy needs to gtfo. Srsly. Haha, but really: I don't like him. I want him to go away so Sirius can have Caprice and they can be together like they're supposed to be!

Interactions: Awesome interaction between the Black brothers and then the Marauders later on. I love that you aren't ignoring Peter or making him a creepy weirdo. I hate when Marauders-Era stories do that. He was their FRIEND. And you're portraying that wonderfully. You did, however, fall into the cliche about Remus always eating chocolate, haha.

You're doing wonderfully. I'll review again soon. Keep up the great work!

--Emily

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