Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:HappyMollyWeasley says:
Hi, this is HappyMollyWeasley here with your review.

I've never read a Narcissa story before, but I think she is an interesting character, so this was a good opportunity to try this. I like how you describe Narcissa as a feeling, thinking and warm person. She doesn't have to be a cold hearted hard woman as she is sometimes pictuered. I love the scene where she is crying onto Lucius's shoulder. How sweet and adorable!

I would have liked to get a little more details about how their friendship led to love. Maybe a few flashbacks, just to see how Lucius and Narcissa interacted?

Oh, poor Narcissa, to see how her husband changes in front of her eyes, and to hope that her unborn child would be the cure to this... And then to find out that he has another woman! And to find out that he was a Death Eater in the same time. What a shock to have all this on the same day!

Over all I like this story, but the pace is a little bit on the fast side, I think. You have lots of good ideas, enough to make this one-shot to a chaptered story if you wanted to. Either that, or "kill your darlings" and focus only on a few of the themes here. There are a lot to choose from: Jealousy, love, expecting a baby, the dullness of the marriage, the betrayal...

The ending was good. This could explain quite a lot about Draco too, I think! :-)

Author's Response: Hey!

First of all thank you for your kind words :) I am glad that you liked the way I described Narcissa, especially since it was a new territory for you. The crying on the shoulder is perhaps a little cliche but I love that scene too xD

That is a good suggestion, I might include some flashbacks when I edit the story :)

I know right, it was so heartbreaking, what Narcissa experienced.

Hmm I agree the story is a little fast paced, but I am usually a writer who finds trouble writing one idea per chapter, I prefer to put in my ideas in a mix together :) I will see though about turning this into a chaptered story.

Thanks a lot for reading & reviewing! Glad you liked the ending too!



Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

 
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

 
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


 
 
 

fanfictionworld.net