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Review:academica says:
Hello Char! I'm here with your requested review :)

I thought this chapter was very interesting, and certainly a change of pace from the last one. From the very beginning, the imagery set the scene and drew me in, making me want to get dressed up and dance along with everyone else! If your goal is to write "purely romantic fluff", I think you have certainly accomplished it, particularly in those few lines. The whole chapter did have a sort of Pride and Prejudice-like feel to it for me, and I'm not sure if that was your intention or not. It's a lovely story, but I think it's also a little bit overdone, so I would focus your effort in the next few chapters on bringing out details that will make this unique and very much your own if you do intend to make this story reminiscent of that one.

I liked the little introduction here with the newspaper clipping, but it did confuse me a little bit. Maybe I just don't remember or didn't get this sense from the previous chapter, but it was a surprise to me for you to characterize the Weasleys as being a rich family. If I missed or forgot something, that's on me, but otherwise, I would consider adding something to bridge the canon portrayal of the Weasleys and this version, especially if keeping in canon is a goal for you. Along the same lines, I was surprised to find Fleur being portrayed as a poor, only moderately attractive girl. Don't get me wrong, I love it when authors shake up the traditional, but I would just consider adding those bridges or including something in the author's note about this being a slight deviation from canon. I haven't read the other series you referenced in the last chapter, so maybe the changes have something to do with that, and perhaps that's the source of my confusion.

The flow here seemed to go much better for me, and I loved how you inserted familiar characters like Hermione and Pansy in there. I hope to continue to see familiar faces as you progress on through the story. Overall, I think this is very nice, and I hope you're having as much fun writing it as I am reading it :)

Nice work! I hope this review is helpful to you!

-Amanda
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Definitely going for pure romantic fluff. The Pride and Prejudice feel is probably from the fact that the other book that this was inspired from ("other" meaning not Harry Potter :P ) is a Victorian-era book series (romance novels) by Julia Quinn. I'm not sure exactly what you meant by by: "bringing out details that will make this unique and very much your own if you do intend to make this story reminiscent of that one" but will focus on getting the details out at least :)

The story is canon in the sense that the characters have the same name and sort of same personalities and the eventual people that they end up with. I've taken the liberty to fit the Weasley family into the mold of the Bridgertons which is the family that Julia Quinn writes of who are wealthy and prolific.

Fleur only thinks she's moderately attractive. I took care not to say that she was ugly just that she was different from her sister, the accepted norm of "Veela". I'll try to draw that out more. I will also try to do more bridging in the next chapter so that THIS Weasley family stays familiar but also resembles the story I am trying to portray.

Thanks for the comment on flow and I'm glad you're liking the familiar faces. There will definitely be more where that came from!

And yes, Amanda, this was helpful! :)

xChar


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