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Review:phoenix9279 says:
Much better. Nothing against the old story(as it was a good one) but this is a drastic improvement. There is much more clairity and a better flow to the storyline so far. 12/10(I know I cant rate that high but I did)

Author's Response: I started writing over three years ago. I knew I could do a better job than some of the authors on the site. Since then I hope all the practice has made me a better writer.

A little advice and beta work by Mrs_Granger helped. LadymBlack is the most fantastic beta. Not only is she great on the technical aspects, spelling and grammar and keeping things true to canon, but she's a good writer. When she has added dialogue it is always good. When she suggests that the story line needs work, that something doesn't work, what we end up with is always better than what we started out with.

Mrs_Granger suggested that the story had begun to wander. Ladymblack was reluctant at first to suggest starting over, but we have. I now have an outline of four stories taking in the 19 years, with endings and beginnings. The transitions will be very different from Harry's point of view than from Ginny's point of view, but that's part of the story.

Please keep telling us what works, and what doesn't work.

Thank you for the fantastic review!

Jet


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