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Review:CambAngst says:
Hi, there!

I was looking back through some of my old reviews this morning and I realized that I hadn't looked at your story in a long time. Shame on me, because it's quite good.

Everything about the Transfiguration lesson was beautifully done. Sirius's flashback to his family life before Hogwarts was inspired. Such a great concept of how the Black family treated Sirius and Regulus. I loved that you worked in a very plausible explanation for the animosity between Sirius and Kreacher. In the midst of her frustrations, Professor McGonagall still takes a moment to appreciate James and Sirius's natural talents for magic. It was perfectly in character for her. Even poor Peter manages to figure it out with some help.

You continued to bring Peter's character along in a very consistent, sympathetic way. He's just along for the ride as James and Sirius inflict their sense of humor on the school. Even through Peter's eyes, I think you're striking a really good balance with James's character. He is spoiled and arrogant and he seems to believe that he can do no wrong, yet he is generous and seems to have a good heart.

The food fight was probably the high point of the chapter for me, because it showed that the Gryffindor girls were not opposed to becoming involved in the Marauders' high jinks. The way that Lily approached Remus afterwards, offering to surrender herself to McGonagall's discipline, seemed just like her.

Poor Remus. A week into his first year and already his lycanthropy is driving a wedge between him and his new friends. I thought you did a great job of incorporating the story of the whomping willow.

The last section, told from James's point of view, was the most interesting to me. The way that James thinks of the elves and the work that they do further defined who he is in my mind. And I adored your description of the laundry room. It made me think of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, except run by elves. The boys' punishment certainly seemed to fit the crime.

Your writing is really lovely. Very smooth and polished, with no distracting typos or grammar problems. Everything flows very nicely, and you have a good mix of dialog and narrative. The alternating points of view really add to the story, in my opinion.

I'll try to be less of a stranger!

Author's Response: Hello :)

I'm sorry for the late-ish reply. Everytime I go to reply, something else pops up!

Oh - I'm so glad you thought Transfiguration fitted with your expectations. And McGonnagall - I love writing her, but at times I feel like I've gone overboard! So thank you for saying that she was in character. :)

Oh, I'm so happy you've said that. I'm on a mission to make Peter more relatable - and even liked, if possible. He's completely just trying to find his feet, wheras James and Sirius just jumped in head first!

Lily's really interesting as I've never even attempted to write her. In my mind, she's very similar to Hermione... yet a bit more mischievous. ;)

Remus is always held back by his condition (in my mind, at least). He really wants to join in but at the time time is scared of being a burden.

Haha - I was worried I took it too far. But the positive feedback from the laundry room is really making me want to push those boundaries. James - oh, he's just so fun to write. His characteristics are already there, it's almost too easy to imagine his reactions to situations.

Thank you so much for reviewing (and from before) and I'm glad you've given MM another chance. The earlier chapters are in the queue for re-edits to make them a little more smooth. :)

Thanks again, Keira :)


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