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Review:Livi_777 says:
Hi! Review battle!
First off, I loved this idea as an introduction, going shopping is always a good, solid way to start a story because it shows so much about your characters personalities and introduces them without that horrible 'Hello, this is Mary and she likes to dance' factor.
I like the familiarity of the situation and the playful, happy, upbeat way you write it, it's a very useful skill to have to be able to lull the reader into a false sense of security because then when the plot starts coming in, it's more of a shock and makes it all the more gripping. And actually, it's a technique that JKR uses lots, so it's very appropriate for HPFF!
The only criticism that I can make is that I felt the letter was a bit clumsy. I don't really hate it, and it's perfectly fine, and I understand your note about the new headmistress, but I think it would have been a little more concise, the sentences would have been shorter and more to the point. You know, there are a couple of points where you could have used four words instead of six, and that kind of thing.
However, overall, I loved this chapter and can't wait to see what's going to happen next!
-Livi x

Author's Response: Did you? I always thought that the shopping thing was a bit cliche, but I see your point about it showing the character's personalities really well. Compared to JKR, too? You flatter me way too much.

I see your point, though, about the letter, I'm never very good about official things like that, I'll have to rewrite it soon, taking your advice into account, of course. All in all, thanks for the review, constructive criticism is always, always appreciated, especially with me and my stories, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
-Linn x

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