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Review:academica says:
Hi there! I'm here with your requested review!

I think the plot here is moving along well. It was nice to get a little bit of Amelia's perspective as well as Draco's. I can already see a serious difference in them, as evidenced by Draco's isolated nature and pessimistic view and Amelia's fondness for sunlight and gentle treatment of others. I liked the little moment where Draco got offended at the 'adjoining rooms' comment and realized he had totally misunderstood; that was a nice little moment of humor.

I did notice some little technical errors, like missing commas, words that aren't capitalized but should be, and missing words. I think it's something that a beta could help you with, just so that you have a second pair of eyes to double-check your work. The other thing that threw me a little was the moment when Amelia put her hand on Draco's left arm. I understand why he flinched, but it seemed to come a little out of the blue. I'm assuming that it was her way of trying to comfort him in a trying time, but even if that's not it, I would consider going back and adding a line or two just to make it clear why she's doing that, because it seems a little bit strange for a professional to do that to a client she just met.

I did like getting to see some of Draco's thoughts here, and I hope you'll do more of that with Amelia in the future, just so we can really get to know both of them. I still like your treatment of the situation with Narcissa, and I hope we'll get more details about how she's doing with her care later as well.

Great job! I hope this is helpful for you. You can feel free to re-request for the other chapters later on if you would like :)


Author's Response: Hi there!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

I am glad that the plot is moving along and that you see the differences between the both of them. I am glad that you pointed out that little moment with Draco, because I didn't originally have that in the chapter. I really want Amelia to stand out on her own, but in a firm way. I see her as a bit of a spit fire who is going to make sure he knows exactly how she feels.

Thank you for pointing those out and giving me a place where I can improve. I agree that it is sort of an akward place or odd moment that I could elaborate on. I will have to look into getting someone to help me with those areas that I need to work on.

The next chapter is more reflective and new things come about with Amelia's background. This review has been very helpful and I will definitely re-request.

Thanks again! =)


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