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Review:MagicalInk says:
YAY! Finally some angst! I know you treated that before, with all strange things happening, but in this chapter the descriptions are mysterious and more captivating.

And Fleur! French is sometimes rough but I don't think of it as a big deal. Her accent is wonderfully described and I actually read her lines with it, which is great because I could just avoid it you know? She really is the stereotypical parisian, always criticizing something and being all stubborn, but at the same time her Veela blood adds a special touch of manipulative ways. By the way, be a little careful with that and Bill, it'd be a little cliché if it didn't work at all with him, though through reading his parts I'm not that sure ;)

I love Bill, fighting as he's all out of his comfort zone and still keeps his mind focused-, almost (thanks Fleur ^^). I pictured him in this chapter as some sort of Sherlock's nephew, and I hope through the story he'll become Holmes himself.

I liked the little insight of her restaurant life up there. I get some people thought of it as unnecessary, but it gets us more into her character. Maybe adding some more thoughts about Mhairi as she works there, so we know where her mind is really on? I, personally, really liked her characterization there.

Please keep the mystery going, can't wait to read what happens!

Author's Response: Hehe it was so much fun writing the angst for this chapter! I just couldn't help trying to perfect the scene for the mind of the reader, so I'm glad it was captivating and not boring :D

I'm so glad Fleur's accent isn't clunky or annoying, because I often avoid reading lines where accent is written in and I'm trying to not make it too hard on the eye now, and just have it as not drawing too much attention or interrupt flow :P But I like that you can see the French and Veela parts of her and relate her ways back to her roots, because it's part of who she is. And thanks for the point about Bill - it's difficult to keep him disliking how she uses her image without being affected by it!

I'm so glad you love Bill though! He's a load of fun to write, and I enjoy setting the trail for them to follow - I kind of see it as Holmes-type investigations too :D

And I'm glad that you didn't find the restaurant part too useless, because I did only keep it in here as a character help since she's out of her comfort zone in this working environment. I like your idea about adding more Mhairi parts!

And thank you so much for this lovely review! :D
~TGK


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