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Review:DracoFerret11 says:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums here to review for you! :D So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: I'm pretty sure you didn't make any errors here, so we can move on from this quickly. :] What a relief.

Characterization: I think you wrote Hannah beautifully. She was so realistic, so hurt. I could really feel how she felt and it moved me quite a bit. I'm definitely favorite-ing this story.

Emotions: THESE were perfection. I felt transformed. I felt like I'd been moved into a different world and I could almost feel Hannah's shallow breathing through her words. She's so hurt and she was strong for so long, and no one can hold on to that forever. You did an AMAZING job on portraying how she was feeling.

Plot/"Does It Make Sense": I definitely think the story's plot was moving. I always wonder why more people don't try to tackle post-war feelings like this. You did terrifically. I did have to reread a few parts to keep up with the clouds metaphor, but I think it made sense overall. If readers pay attention, they won't get lost.

Style: Your style was gorgeous here. It's not often that I really feel connected with a character, and you pulled that off. I admit myself impressed. :] Having read the beginning of "All That Glitters," I know that your style is always good. So, keep it up!

This was a very well-written story. I think you'll do wonderfully in your challenge. Good luck and thank you for dropping by my review thread. It was a pleasure to read this.

--Emily

Author's Response: Oh my, thank you so much for all your compliments! I'm pleased you really felt Hannah, i wanted to to be so present and wanted her emotions to really just sort of bounce off the screen. I never expected it to be as much and really thought that this wouldn't make any sense and no one would really feel her. I didn't think my words would be able to accomplish that but i'm beyond flattered and pleased that you experienced it like you did.

I'm going to rework the clouds them in a bit, i realize that i may not have quite gotten there with them but i'm happy that you got it.

Thank you so much with all your compliments i'm beaming with joy every time i read your review! Thank you so much!


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