|Review:||The Last Marauder says:|
I had been waiting for this for a while, ever since you said that it was going to be validated soon, I have been checking every hour for about two days now!!! But I had to get some study done before I would read and review though, hence the delay!
Quick question though, why did you have to bump this up to mature? I couldn't find anything overly violent or anything about it really, just something I was wondering while reading.
Em... yeah, didn't like this chapter as much as the previous one, maybe it was just the long gap and I had forgotten what had come before, but I just had a bit of a sense of disorientation when reading it, as though I was not entirely sure what was happening or where Tonks was or what was going on (or was that your intention, because if it was your intention, you did a great job at it!), in the opening half anyway, once the conversation with Charlene started I knew where I was and what was happening.
I really liked how Lupin looked out for Tonks, how he made sure she stayed dry at night and how her food was cooked. Also in how he is very protective of her too. I also really like how you captured the werewolf society, how there is a hierarchy and everyone has their place with Greyback at the top. I liked how you had the children go through lessens, where they were taught to hate normal people. I wasn't too gone on how the children called everyone "uncle" or "aunt", it just seemed a bit too nice, if you get me. I just figured that Greyback wouldn't allow something like that, because it would make his werewolf society a lot like wizard or human society, which is the very thing he is trying to uproot, if you get me, or that could just be me here and I could be completely wrong!!!
The conversation between Charlene and Tonks was good. I particularly liked how you started it, with Charlene asking why she doesn't listen, children love asking questions so that was very convincing.
The ending was brilliant though, loved the ending, best bit! Well done for that, seriously good!
Anyway, can't wait for more and more MM. Hope the exams are going ok (I'm stuck in them too so I feel your pain!!!). Congrats as well on getting to do creative writing next year, completely deserved (based on your HPFF anyway), I did something like that last year and loved it, hope you get as much out of it as I did! Congrats. Keep writing, please, I'll go mad if you stop! Can't wait for more of your fics! :)
Author's Response: Hello! :)
I'm really sorry for the delay: exams, life, queue etc. :P The list can go on - the most important thing is that it's up! :P
Mature: I'm guessing it was the bit with Fenrir being... naughty :P That's only what I could come up with. :)
Hmm, well part of the idea behind this chapter is Tonk's slight diorientation. She's on a mission without her wand, pretending to be someone else, lost her metamorphus abilities, no idea where she actually is, surrounded by werewolves and rarely sees Remus - in mymind she's just focussing on what's directly infront of her then taking in all details as he normally woukd. Saying that, I didn't really want the reader to feel disorientated with where the chapter was going as well :/ I'll look back over it tonight and see if I can make it clearer! :)
Yey for Lupin; he always takes the blame on himself, so it would make sence for him to go slightly overboard in making sure that Tonks' life is slightly easier! :D
Oh, that's a really interesting take on the whole 'uncle' 'auntie' situation! In my mind, it was a sign of possession. Fenrir created this pack, so they must respect him - the 'uncle' etc names were a way of showing the werewolf bond - the pack life. But I comlpetely see where you're coming from! I'll try and make it clearer in the next chapter! :)
I'm just writing the next chapter of MM now so it'll hopefully be in the queue at some point this week. :D Ooh, good luck in them as well!
Thanks again for reading and reviewing - thanks also for pointing out the bits you're not sure on, it really helps me try to improve! :)