The blue flames from the small jar on the bedside table cast the illusion of stars on the ceiling, and walls -- Oh my gosh, this is so beautiful. I literally took a moment from my reading and just sat there with my arms hugging myself because that is straight-up gorgeous imagery. And I am forever jealous. ♥ I WANT TO SEE THE WORLD AS YOU SEE IT.
Charlie elbowed Percy in the ribs for breathing loudly. -- And again with the fabulous characterization of small children! I was giggling so much at this my dog came over and poked my calf with her nose. Which was very wet and cold but she likes to be in with the cool kids, and apparently cool kids giggle.
And I'll take another really brief moment here -- that bit at the end, about Charlie's nameplate and how his fingers made the letters disappear and reappear? I reiterate: I want to see the world as you see it. ♥ That was fantastic!
I already love Apricot. And I think it's because she legitimately breaks the mold -- she is completely unlike every other OC I've ever read. You make her different enough to be relatable, and by definition that makes her even more likable than she already would have been (because, of course, Charlie likes her, and that's good enough for me!). She's got such a strong, admirable feisty personality, and she's such a good match for Charlie. I'm a bit in awe of how well you've characterized her!
I don't know about others, but it completely makes sense to me that the story's flipping between snippets of Charlie's life, and an old bedtime story. :3 I caught onto it without much difficulty, so no worries on that front, Lily! I just. I love this story so much already and I cannot believe there are only four chapters. AND THAT MEANS IT'S HALF OVER, OH MY WORD. THAT WAS A HORRIBLE REVELATION I JUST HAD.
You could always write more. I wouldn't mind. :3 I cannot, cannot, cannot wait for updates on this! This story is so good! ♥
Author's Response: Gah. I'm sorry it's taken me forevs to respond! It's just this is so pristine as a review and my response can only muddy it up. But here we are.
UM OKAY. I worked really hard on physical description this year throughout creative writing classes so it's the best news ever to hear that my imagery is working for youuu~ I mean, I was always pretty detailed but it's more of the internal/metaphorical detail that is random but issues forth if unchecked. #writergirlprobs
But anyway. The world in here is mostly crazy so I'd say this is a rare concatenation of a lucky solemn moment and ability to write like the wind. And you know that I did as I was updating you.
Small children are awful. Like I love them but they have the strangest motivations. I think I am a small child still so it's not too hard to "get into character" huhuhuh. All da kool kids giggle, yo!
The nameplate sort of came out of nowhere and I was like, okay brain, I can work with this! I don't know if it's so much seeing as perceiving; but I won't get into that. And again. Do I even need to tell you how crazy my brain is? You should not be jealous or, if you cannot help it, don't be /too/ jealous. (Ahem.)
Apricot was sort of unconsciously shaped by the dragons around her. There are only certain types of people, and this will sound v. obvious, who will give up their lives to go live with dragons. I figure one kind of person would probably rather be like dragons herself. So here you are. Also Charlie seems so mild to me, so there should be something to temper his normalness. Relatively speaking, of course.
I was pleased to hear that the "crots" worked well for you. They did for me, too. I was tempted at first to write out Mrs Weasley's story lineraly but then I realized how much of it was being shaped by the present lives I'd written, even though basically the whole story derives its power and cohesion from the bedtime story bits.
Bahhh. I tried to leave it open-ended enough that it never really ends, though. I'm so pleased you like it ♥