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Review:ewsoucf7 says:
Hey again...

Two issues in this chapter, so I'll get those out of the way before I move on to the positive stuff. The first is that I was a little confused as to who was speaking and to whom at the beginning of the match before people had kicked off. It may have been just me, but I was really confused by it.

The second was that this sentence was repeated twice, one right after the other:
That day for the first time the children of the north won a Quidditch game.
You may want to just check that, as I know you are going through some editing at the moment, or it says so in the summary. Besides that there were no other issues.

Once again, I cannot really comment on Oliver's character as such. He seems a very pleasant character which is something we know him to be...though he does seem a little doubtful, which I'm sure anyone wanting to prove themselves would be at the beginning. Of what I can see he hasn't done anything that I would consider OOC yet, so I think so far his character is fine.

None of my questions have been answered yet! I sincerely hope that they are. If not I may just keep asking them until you tell me? Only kidding, but yeah, I hope you explain some of them at least in the next few chapters.

I like the time line of the plot so far, especially the way you focus on certain time periods in his life. I'm hoping that you continue to do this, as it's quite refreshing to see how he develops yet remains as passionate about Quidditch. Also I love that he practiced over summer. I thought that was very sweet!


Author's Response: Hullo! Nice to see ya :)

Oka saw the two issues, and re-read the chapter so those will be tackled as soon as my editing commences XD (hopefully this week!) Aww thank you I thought the timeline might be confusing but that's what the story will be doing focusing on certain periods of his life otherwise this project would be too big for little ol'me :P Thanks for the review!

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