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Review:apocalypse says:
Hey! This is apocalypse, here with your review!

First of all, I'd just like to tell you that the story idea, I think, I awesome. It's so very unique and you don't see such unique ideas being executed everyday, so I'd like you to congratulate you on that. =) Good job.

You've told me that the story hasn't been beta'd so I think that I'll just pass over the grammatical errors. I don't really comment on them anyway, so you don't have to worry about that. =) The rest of the story is great!

Plot: The plot is one of the strongest points of the story so far. I had never thought that Fred and George could have financial problems or could even get involved in a lawsuit, so that is something that I really like being mentioned in this story. I really liked how introduced the idea into the story through Seamus. It's even more interesting that he's their lawyer; I'd never thought him being a professional in his life. =P So that's a good thing for him too.

Ah, the Bottle. I already know what it's made since I read your thread on the forums; speaking of, I'm very happy to see the name The Soul Bearer being used! =) I loved it! =D I think that the Bottle is, for sure, the strongest point of the story. It's idea is very attractive and the fact that it's different from Genie in a Bottle makes it all the more intriguing. Wonderful job with the plot! =)

Flow/Pace: I don't think that I should comment on the flow much since the story wasn't beta'd so I'll just go with talking about the pace. If you look at it overall, the pace was fine. But if you look at it while considering the fact that Seamus went inside the bottle, I think it was a bit too fast? It should've happened in the first chapter as it did, yes but I think that you could've given more details and could've slowed it down a bit, maybe allowed him to talk to the twins about the case before he opened the bottle? Or not. I don't think it's necessary because if you do it, on one hand, it would adjust the pace but on the other you would lose the abruptness of the scene when he goes into the bottle.

Characterization: The characters of the twins were well written. Their dialogue and their description was well done, so I'm happy with those. But with Seamus, I don't think I can comment on his character that much as I don't know him that well from Canon. I suppose that that's your advantage. There's so little canon stuff on Seamus that it allows authors to mould his character almost the way they want. So far, you're doing a good job with him. The fact that he knows that he attracts trouble was funny. =P He does indeed tend to do that a lot. Hence, the Bottle. =D

The description of the story was very good too! I really enjoyed the imagery and the way you described the Bottle, that was something I particularly loved. I suppose that the Bottle is one of the things that I really love now. Seriously, the idea of it is really awesome and I can't wait to see what happens next! Plus, you did a wonderful job with the words when he opened the Bottle! That was a very well-written part! =) Keep it up!

I think that's it from me here. I hope you like this review and that it helps you in any way it can. =) Feel free to re-request and PM me with anything that you might wanna say or ask. Until next time, Good Luck and Happy Writing! =D

~Recenseo '12

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