Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Ravenclaw_Charm says:

Ooh, way to leave us on a nice cliff hanger! Honestly, I'm not really one for vampire-werewolf stories (I used to be a biggg Twilight fan and now I hate it, haha), but this seems promising. There's just a couple instances where the sentences are confusing, which makes the chapter's flow not so smooth.

EX: Then he heard it. A scream. His scream.

For a moment, I thought he was hearing his own scream, but that seemed odd. I had to re-read it a couple times until I realized that it was Hugo's scream. Perhaps it's just me, though, haha.
Also, the second paragraph was also slightly confusing. (Another personal issue? I don't know, haha.) So Hugo is coming from a Muggle's friend's house? I'm really not sure. Could you perhaps clear it up a bit?

I hope I haven't been too harsh! This seems like a good start to a promising fic :) I know you haven't introduced who the second POV is, but I already like him! :D And, like I said, you have a great cliffy that makes you want to read on. Good job! :D

Author's Response: Yeah, that 'His' is supposed to be in italics, to know, from the other guy's POV, that it's Hugo's... Forgot that. :P

Yeah, Hugo is coming from a Muggle friends house. Kids who used to live next door to his Muggle grandparents.

Thank you. :)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 822
Submit Report: