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Review:charlottetrips says:
Intriguing. Very intriguing. To be honest, I've avoided this story because it seems like it would be scary. And maybe it still will be but I don't care now that I'm reading this. I'm impressed, first of all, that you're doing this story in 2nd person. Not sure if you're going to keep it up the entire way but it's interesting and I like reading stories like that. I think it harks back to my old "Goosebump" stories (if you don't know what that is then I'm sorry, Google it :P ).

The language was wonderful. Though the sentences tended to run long here and there, I don't care. I think it creates a wonderful effect especially since we're basically in Molly's mind and I don't worry about sentence structure in my own head. No grammar or spelling errors which is so relieving because I'm nitpicky and those tend to distract me, even if a little.

You wanted to lose yourself, she wanted to find herself and, somewhere along the line, you met each other. - the idea of schizophrenia in the wizarding world, though this is probably more than just that, is interesting. I can see the family around her, in their actions and the thoughts of Molly, worry about her and want her to get better. But I also see Molly's rejection of their opinions. I myself help a lot of people through different trials in life and it's such a natural reaction.

All in all, this is a start that has captured my imagination so I shall keep reading (soon). :)

xChar

Author's Response: Haha, honestly I'm not sure if it will be scary or not (I'm the kind of person who doesn't get scared by things I read so I'm a really bad judge of that), so I can only shrug about that. Yeah, the second person is going to be around for the entire story! It's interesting for me coz this is the first thing I ever wrote in it. Goosebump stories! Ah, I remember those! :D Thanks!

Yeah, I ramble. A lot. Numerous teachers have told me off for using incredibly long sentences, lol.

It's not quite schizophrenia... more schizophrenia in a very literal sense, I suppose, lol. I'm glad you think it's a natural reaction, as I have no experience with anything like this at all, either in reading or RL, so it's a bit of a stab in the dark for me.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Aph xx


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