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Review:Ravenclaw_Charm says:
Hey, it's Ravenclaw_Charm with your review! Awesome second chapter! Now, let's see here...

Grammar: Just some errors with dialogue punctuation. I also found this spelling mistake:
"Draco peaked forward"
I believe you meant "peeked," not "peaked."
In addition, I stumbled upon two confusing lines:
"He was always exciting..."
"We're getting caught..."
Did you mean "He was always excited" and "We're going to get caught"? They confused me for a second, so if you fix those, it'll improve that chapter (not that it really needs to be improved ;])

Flow: Just the confusing sentences I stated above disturbed the flow. So fix those, and it'll flow better! Everything else was smooth sailing! :)

Pacing: Well done as well! :)

Characterization: This is definitely a strong point for you. I really love how you characterize everyone. I also enjoyed how Draco, Harry, and Ron are friends, and they play off each other so well yet stick to their cannon characteristics. Riddle was excellent as well: firm and mysterious. His first day speech was really good - I'm so conflicted on who's side he's on: Death Eater or Ministry?! Gah... ;P Goebbels gives me the creeps. But his teaching style is interesting, and I like his character. I really liked how his lesson integrated both Muggle and Wizard history. I've actually thought of that - Voldemort and Grindelwald being like wizard Hitlers. Anyway, I'm really excited to see where these characters go and how they'll develop further! :D

All in all, amazing chapter! And with a suspense ending ;) I'm so excited to see what comes next! Thanks for re-requesting!

Author's Response: A great review as always.

Thanks for catching those. None of these chapters are beta'd and I must have missed those when I was editing it. Just typos.

I'm glad you enjoy my characters. As convoluted as the plot is probably going to be, I like to think I can keep these characters strong and make people care for them.

Goebbels and Voldemort are interesting because I can't create the same dynamic I have with Harry, Draco, and Ron, so I have to find other ways to reveal their personalities. I'm glad you liked them too.

Thanks again for your review and I'll definitely re-request but a little later so I don't bug you so much!


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