Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Elenia says:
(Swap!)

Aww, this was such a cute story! I enjoyed reading it very much.

You're a good writer and I think you did a good job with describing Lily's and James's feelings! Especially the part where James talks about his mother felt very real and emotional. Well done.

I liked their characters as well. I think you portrayed them both well, and I like the fact that you mentioned Lily not hating James but only thinking that he was annoying. Because that's how I think it went, but still many writers make her hate him.

Only thing I'd like to point out was the part where Lily asked James about why they all look so shattered once a month and so on. I think that if she had noticed all those things, she would've made the connection of Remus being a werewolf already. She's a clever witch after all. So maybe drop a few of them and make it sound a bit less obvious?

Other than that, I really liked other things in this. Especially the fact that you used James's mum's sickness to make him so vulnerable so Lily maybe took it a bit easier on him and noticed that he wasn't that bad after all. That was a nice idea!

Good job and thanks for the swap again (:

Take care!

~Elenia

Author's Response: Thank you! ^^

Oh thank you :D I still feel a little awkward about it - I don't think it's quite right. Somehow I don't think it's quite how someone would react, but hey :D

Yeah, Lily never HATED James in my head, just found him too immature to get along with :P

I wasn't sure how to make her feel about Remus - I thought it might be a little too cliche for her to know, but then really cliche for her to work it out in his presence, so I kinda... Put in lots and hoped for the best ;)

Thank youuu ^^ You are honestly too kind (3

Emily x x


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 215
Submit Report: