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Review:Kwan says:
Hi there, tagging from the review thread.

I'll admit that I haven't ever watched Torchwood (though I do love Alexa Havins), I still found the humor in this story. In particular, I think you captured Flint's...well...dumbness via your writing. Even though you didn't write it in first person, it felt as if these were things that Marcus would say to himself.

Even his approach screamed stupidity as he formulated theory after theory with no logical pattern. Oh, it must be so painful to be as dumb as he. Still, it was amusing and probably even more so had I ever watched Torchwood, but I wanted to read this because I'm submitting a story to the nerd challenge too!

There were little things that bothered me and usually, with me, they're story-related but this had to do with grammar and style.

There were a bunch of misspells (wether, firewhisky, and some other sentences that looked like they were missing words or typo'd to the wrong word) and it's tough to read sometimes when you insert dialogue and Flint's thoughts within a big paragraph. I would have liked if you broke up the dialogue or thoughts from the paragraph so they were easier to read and it wasn't so difficult to follow who exactly said what.

I did like the theme of the retcon and I really just missed the anvil-sized hints of what Gwen was going to do with him. Of course she was going to slip him the retcon in the end!

Fun story that could use a bit of stylistic changes.

Author's Response: You should so watch Torchwood! And Doctor Who! And The Sarah Jane Adventures! (okay, i'll stop now).

Really? Well, that's good, because this is the first time I've ever written a humor-related story before so I'm glad that you saw the humor. Haha, I loved writing Marcus because I kind of based his fangirling off my experiences (there are two guys at my school: one of them looks like Jared Padlecki and the other looks like Andrew-Lee Potts)

Well, thanks for pointing that out! I'll fix them (one day) THank you!
Jas


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