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Review:char1089 says:
Loving the story! I have one correction; take out the "but" in the beginning. It doesn't quite fit with the rest of the sentence/paragraph. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Glad you like the story, but I think we shall have to agree to disagree on that- without the conjunction, I don't feel that this: ".and a disapproving Remus bringing up the rear. Lily was quite a good tour guide, if a bit breathless." works as well, because then I'd feel the need to put extra emphasis on the 'was'.

Thanks for the criticism though :)


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