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Review:Moonyxluna says:
Why don't I read your writing more!? Seriously, this was way adorable. I like how you started out with them working for Dumbledore/the order-- it put the time placement of the story into perspective in a lovely way.

James and Sirius were written beautifully. They were witty and sarcastc, James with just a touch of concern when it comes to Lily-- just how I love the marauders :p okay, and even brilliant work with mentioning Remus as well. Even in the two sentances you talked about him you still managed to capture his mannerisms that he would 'do something and hate himself in the morning for it'

okay, so instead of blabbering on about all of the things I loved, I'm going to make a list.
things I loved: Sirius' pink blanket, the line about the star 'sirius' (in the summary as well), joking about Dumbledore running, them thinking of Moony with the werewolves, and Lily's patronus changing to a stag when James wasn't around!

basically, the whole thing.

Oh, I have one thing-- towards the middle you go from calling them padfoot and prongs to James and Sirius (in the dialogue and the.. not dialogue (my mind is failing me for the word)) while they are in the tent. I wouldn't point it out if it was just the dialogue; just to keep the consistancy. I like that Lily would call him James and that it's "padfoot and prongs" when they are working together--
like here: James sighed, nodding his head slowly... Even when it's not his fault, he always does"
Padfoot nodded sadly.

It may be just me being picky, but I would change it to either "padfoot sighed" or "Sirius nodded" to keep it consistant.
okay, I hope that makes sense and I'm not just blabbering on about nonsense!

Anyways, this was an adorable one-shot. Lovely work, your writing is fantastic!

Author's Response: Ahaha, I would have no problem if you read my writing more. I'm thrilled that you like it so much! :P I'm always nervous about everything I post, so hearing that people like it is always wonderful. ^_^

I'm so glad you liked the characterisation, etc. because that's something i'm always paranoid about when it comes to the Marauders, so it's always great to hear that i've done it justice!

I'll defiantly go check up on that bit you mentioned about their names. I didn't realise, but I can see what you're talking about. I'll edit it when I have a chance. Thanks!

I'm so happy you listed your favourite parts. I love it when people do that in their reviews, because it means I know what's working and what isn't, but those are particular favourites of mine as well, so hearing they work is wonderful :)

Thanks so much for the review, and i'm glad that you liked it so much. It means a lot to head that from you!

- Adele :)


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