Before I apologize for the delay in this review can I just say... Wow. Just simply wow. This was so well-done.
And yes, I am very, very sorry for the wait on this review! Hope you're not too angry with me!
Onto the review, then!
Plot: Okay, so there is only one thing I had trouble with throughout this entire story and that is that I was confused as to when she was speaking about her time with Regulus and when she was speaking about her time with Sirius. Otherwise, the jumping, didn't matter much. Sometimes, however, I couldn't wrap my head around that, to be honest. I think you were going for a more ambigious feel, however, so feel free to ignore this if that's what you were going for! Otherwise, I feel like it flowed well, was paced well, etc. And very believable!
Characterization: I know you were worried about Sirius' characterization, but I say, don't be. I think as much as we know about his days at Hogwarts, he was sort of a ladies' man, which you showed here, but that, as he fought in the war and saw people he cared about fall, he would have changed. A lot. And I think the desperate feel you gave him when he proposed to Dorcas, when she decided to walk out on him, that was spot on. I think he would be desperate to keep close anyone he cared about that was still alive in a time of so much death.
Grammar: At first, I was going to comment about the dialogue tagging, what with using commas when they should have been periods, but I saw it happen a lot and I figured out it was just your style! (: Other than that, only a couple things I saw!
“Not this dark and twisted war-ridden man who asked her to marry her.” The last ‘her’ should be a ‘him’, dear! (:
“T’is like air.” Not sure if you meant this or not, but I think you meant to put the apostrophe before the ‘T’ not after.
“I cannot be who you want me to be.” She repeats. Instead of a period at the end of this sentence, it should be a comma, and the ‘she’ shouldn’t be capitalized, dear!
Most haunting line and best written part out of all of this? (It was hard to pick because you did such a fantastic job!)
The ever-consistent question in an era with no future:
“What are you going to do for a living?”
“Survive this war.”
I hope I helped in some regards, and again, I apologize for the wait on this review! Thanks so much for requesting from me and I hope to see you around the thread again sometime! (:
Author's Response: I do not mind the slightest that you took so long! Especially not after a review like this! Thank you so much? Your wonderful kind words are truly appreciated and the critiscm is just spot on. You were right; I was indeed going for more of an ambiguous feel. And gosh, yep Married Him --- huh. :p I'm happy you liked the characterization - I was really worried about that one. Thank you so much for the great feedback, this was absolutely wonderful, so thank you!