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Review:CambAngst says:
Tagging you again from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room.

Hex you? Why would I do such a thing? That was brilliant! I absolutely loved this chapter. It's not that I don't feel badly for Gwen. It's not that I don't think James is a frustrating, brain-dead, overgrown child. But overall I think this was far and away the best chapter of the story so far. It read so effortlessly. Everything was so fast-paced and the energy level was so high from the moment Gwen arrives at the stadium. It sucked me in and before I knew what hit me, it was over.

The beginning of the chapter picked right up where the previous one left off, which was a great decision because the previous chapter did amount to a mini-cliff-hanger of sorts. Once again, you brought us so close to the edge of James and Gwen falling into a different sort of relationship, and then we're jerked violently back. "The b_ was still here..." I loved that line. So stark and jarring, a perfect complement to the situation that Gwen finds in James's flat.

Gwen's reaction is perfect. Spot on for the situation. She's so upset that she even decided to be early for the team meeting. The interaction with the coach was a little different than what I was expecting. I guess he's more of a prima donna than how I'd been picturing him. I'm not sure yet what to make of Gwen's new assignment. It reads like one of those management tactics where you take one of your worst-performing team members and put them in a high-profile position to try to encourage them to improve. At a minimum, it's guaranteed to add a stressful new dynamic to Gwen and James's relationship, since I have to imagine that whats-her-name won't be at all shy about "leaking" the details of her pregnancy to the press.

I thought that you did a terrific job of writing the Quidditch match. It was easy to feel like I was right in the middle of the action, and everything felt very fast-paced and crisp. James's poor play didn't make that much sense at first, but once the bomb drops near the end of the chapter it all came together nicely for me. Great job of using that as a lead-in to set the mood for what was coming.

And then James's big revelation. So whats-her-name pulled out the time-honored tactic of gold-diggers everywhere. I should probably spend this paragraph telling you how much I liked the way that you held off on using the p-word to emphasize how difficult it was for Gwen to come to grips with what she was hearing -- it was fantastic! -- but instead I'm going to speculate wildly for just a moment. You said that whats-her-name's annoying friend Dylan would be back. Hmmmnn...

And then you hit us with another cliff-hanger! GR!!! You are killing my productivity!

I was not kidding in the slightest. This was the best chapter of the story so far. It's going to be hard for you to top this one, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you'll find a way.

Author's Response: Heey, sorry it took me awhile to respond. Didn't have access to my trusty laptop and my phone won't let me do it /:

Haha, it was because of the cliffie. I personally don't like them at all (something to do with how 'patient' I am) so I was afraid people would 'hate' me because of it (x

But I'm so glad you feel that way! Especially because it was 8000 words!!

Yeah, the ending of the last chapter happened mostly because it gave me a perfect way to start this one. I actually had many version of these scenes, but decided to go with this one, because everything just fit to their places.

Haha, yep. Not usually, but on game days the coach can be quite a pain. And yeah, I have great plans for Gwen's new assignment d: can't say anything else about that.

Aww, thanks. That was the plan, so I'm glad that it's working. And yeah, it wasn't supposed to make sense at first, even Gwen couldn't figure it out immediately.

Uuh, speculation. I love that! It's so nice to hear what everybody thinks is going to happen with my story, that way I know if I'm doing a good job creating the 'mystery' around my plot.

Haha, that's exactly what happens with me when there's a cliff-hanger in a story I read. I just have to find out what happens next!

And thanks again! I hope I will d:

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