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Review:Kwan says:
You know that feeling where you know the end and have all these intricate plans of how everything's going to work, but you just can't seem to muster the gusto to write that middle part? I sense you're going through a bit of that because, honestly, the rest of this story is great.

Cygnus, the Swan, is a bit prototypical, but the rest of your characters are top notch. I'm especially fond of Kreacher and Remus. They are two well written characters that show a great amount of empathy in a story where there is little to be found. Sirius and Regulus' relationship shows a deep bond that is sometimes difficult to show, but you avoid the pitfall of just saying, "They're brothers and they love each other," and instead show why they love each other. It's great.

My only criticism is simply a stylistic one. The format of this story requires everything to be wrote fairly straight forward and we're left without musings or 'waxing poetically' if you would like. That's not to say there's anything wrong with your style as I think your writing is magnificent; it's just that the surprise remains in how they finish the journey instead of the journey itself. Perhaps it's just familiarization with Hamlet that's speaking. If none of this made sense, completely disregard it. I had a good thought in the beginning but it fell apart as I wrote this paragraph.

I assume Cygnus' coronation will be the symbolic end of the first phase of this story. Keep on writing as you are obviously a great writer and the only motivation you need is to just start putting the words down on the paper. I look forward to Sirius' revitalization in phase two and his return to the kingdom in the final acts.

9/10.

Author's Response: I AM going through that. It's kind of amazing at how well you were able to read that out of this.

I'm sorry you found Cygnus a bit unoriginal, but I'm glad you liked the remaining cast of characters more. Kreacher and Remus are some of my favorites to write. Kreacher will be a good mentor for Regulus and Remus will certainly be a huge part of Sirius's upbringing.

I loved writing Sirius and Regulus's relationship and I'm sad that I've separated them already. I kind of wish I gave them more time to mourn together.

I'm usually more of a "waxing poetically" type of writing, but I guess it seemed more unnecessary with this fic. It is all very straight-forward, yes, but I hope that there are surprises in this fic that don't follow the typical plot of Hamlet.

You've definitely got an idea of how I want to pace the story, so it's nice to see someone else has the same vision that I do.

Thanks for your review, and sorry for the delay in responding. It's hard, sometimes, to figure out what to say to some of these reviews without sounding so repetitive. I'm trying to get better.


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