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Review:Kwan says:
The story improves marginally as you write on. The writing definitely gets better in the latter chapters you've written so far.

I think you need to focus on capturing the character of Bella. You've taken great lengths to retread the steps in which she became this character but I still feel as if I don't know her. I don't understand her motivations nor do I know why she acts the way she does. All of her actions seem to just be random provocation to events and I can't get a grip as to who she is.

Seeing as how this story is Bella-centric, I think it's important you to establish why she's doing all of this. Give her a reason to do this besides, "This is what the prophecy said." Even when Voldemort listened to the prophecy in canon, it was because he was an egomaniac. Here, I don't understand Bella's motivations.

Continue working on your dialgoue and really hone in on Bella as a character. Once you can establish who she is and what she would act like, I feel you can really take off and not be encumbered by retelling the events of canon.

Keep on writing and good luck!

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