Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Deltaris says:
This is a really interesting concept. I've seen plenty of Rose/Scorpius, but never anything that starts after they're in Hogwarts. I quite like the idea, it's a refreshing change.

However, I do find it a little hard to believe that Harry would've stayed on the Auror force so long. We know that he does after the final battle, but I've always felt like it was more out of obligation and not knowing anything other than fighting, than actually wanting to fight.

I did notice a few run on sentences:
With a final scowl at Scorpius[,] I barged past him
as I looked over at Scorpius[,] who was glaring angrily
witness had put 'Purple Chicken[.]' [N]ow I highly doubt the

And this sentence:
You would be better off putting Mum and [a]n old exam paper graded with a D in a room for 5 hours
-The grading scales are different in this world. There is no D grade, so perhaps it'd be better to change it to a Troll? And (this is just a pet peeve of mine, not all that important) the general rule when writing numbers is if it's less than 100, you write out the words. (Or less than two words, or less than some other number, depending on where/how you learn it. I learnt the 100 thing.)

I think this could definitely be very good. It's all a matter of how you explain the new Death Eater rising and how things have changed since Harry's Hogwarts days. I'd say this is a pretty good start :)

Del<3

Author's Response: Thanks for poiting out the mistakes. I really need a beta reader, but no one ever wants to do my stories so I'm stuck using word which is painfully useless.

I'll change the grade to Troll just so it wont bug you anymore because I'm a nice person ;)

And I never learnt the less than 100 thing o.o So I always use the numbers instead of writing it out. But I'll take that into concideration for next time and probrsbly edit it.

And once again thanks for the wonderful review and I'm glad you liked it.

Snoopy x


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 780
Submit Report: