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Review:BoOkWoRm24 says:
Hey so I thought that overall this chapter was really well done. You're description in the beggining was really lovely.

One of the little things that made me really happy about this was your appropriate use of semi colons. Call me crazy but when people don't use them when they need them it irks me. so good job there.

Just as one little nit pick some of your paragraphs have indents and some don't. If you are going to use indents then use them through out if your not then don't.

Finally I liked how you intergrated the different drinks into your story. For instance at the end when you said that she stopped drinking the hot chocolate and switched to fire whisky or somewhere in the beggining when you said something or other was going like Butterbeer (not a direct quote obviously) I thought these little wizardisms added the whole story Harry Potter feel and were pretty clever.

Overall this was great and I can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for the criminally late reply, things are a little hectic.
Ah, thank you! I don't know why or how, but punctuation and grammar comes really easily to me. I bare;y have to think about it... I do make mistakes quite frequently, but i alwas spot and edit them.

Anyway.

Yes, I will change the paragraph structure thing! Thanks for the review :)


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