Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:charlottetrips says:
Hi! Here with your requested review from TGS! :) What an apt birthday gift for academica. Not only are you writing her OTP but you also stuck Adrian Brody in your banner! That’s awesome.

I like this beginning sequence where we have the older Snape wanting a bit of the goodness and innocence that he had in his younger days, when he and Lily were friends. There’s the tiredness of death and decay that’s present and then that bit of hope that seems tentative but willing to bloom.

His death scene makes me so sad. Even the mention of it here, where I’m present at the final moments of his life and his thoughts are coherent yet not. It makes me sad. I like how you’ve kept Severus still having that tinge of anger/hate towards Harry but also that bit of love that he has because of his mother, in that he hopes his memories will save Harry.

LOL, I like how you slipped in that bit about James/Sirius…though isn’t Sirius/Remus your OTP? (And now that I’ve read your Author’s Note, I get why the mention.)

Sev seemed quick to accept Lily’s presence and quick to be hurt but other than that, I thought you captured his adoration of her quite well. She was his everything and still is. I don’t have a handle on Lily’s characterization, mainly because this is from Sev’s POV as well as maybe you’ve established her more in your other fics, but she seemed at peace with her afterlife and her decision to be there with Severus. She also seemed confident and knew more about what was going on then him (which I guess she does).

I loved your descriptions like this one he felt warmth in the pit of his stomach that spread outward like a sunburst. These just made the story flow and gave it a bit of an ethereal air to it which is appropriate considering that it takes place in the afterlife.

Overall, this was a sweet (as in cool and as in lovely feeling) fic.

xChar

Author's Response:

Haha, Adrian Brody was actually Susan's idea but it all worked out well. Amanda was pleased. :)

This ship is so hard for me to write, but seeing the memory sequence in DH2 really sort of got my imagination going, and it was really nice that this fit into my story line for A Cold Heaven. Snape and Lily in the afterlife and being able to reminisce about their childhood, before everything sort of all went downhill.

The death scene was my favorite to write. It was interesting trying to make it coherent enough for the readers to understand, but still rambling and slightly frantic. The anger/hate is more towards James - at least that's what I was trying to get at - since Harry looks so much like him, and he's angry that James took Lily from him, but Harry's eyes (his mother's eyes) are sort of what grounds him to that moment and then he's lucid enough to share his memories with Harry, hoping they will save him.

Yeah, I'm still not quite happy with their dialogue scene but meh. I'm not quite sure how to fix it. It is hard to get things to be perfect in such a short scene. But I'm glad you thought I wrote his adoration well. It was hard for me as a James/Lily shipper to do that, but it's done (and will probably never happen again). Lily has definitely hard time to come to terms with the afterlife. After all, she had been there for over a decade, getting used to its strange quirks and realizing her potential in the afterlife and all that.

Thank you! I did try to work on my poetic flair a little bit :P and I definitely wanted readers to get a feel for the afterlife - which is why I think Susan's banner is perfect. It's so otherworldly. I love it. Thanks for your sweet review. :)


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

 
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

 
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


 
 
 

fanfictionworld.net