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Review:Toujours Padfoot says:
:O Teddy! That traitor! Who in their right mind would choose someone named Iska over Victoire?

Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself. Back to the beginning: I liked the atmosphere of leaving Hogwarts. Your descriptions were really spot-on and it reminded me of graduating from high school, that feeling of leaving the familiar and entering the unknown. There was a lot of vulnerability because Victoire isn't sure whether or not she's going to Bimas yet, and the ONE thing she planned on went all wrong and I'm just so sad for her. But she's tough, it seems, so I know she'll recover from it. I'm just glad that she went ahead with the dive in the lake because it shows that even though she didn't count on doing the dive alone, she was independent enough to give herself that last gift before she lost her chance to do so.

I liked how you said that the school was insistent she cram all of her Head duties into the last day of being there, more than she'd had to do all year, because it's such a realistic detail. I had friends who were in student council and all that and they were so busy during the last week of school doing all kinds of stuff, whereas during the rest of the year they didn't really have to do much of anything.

The map Teddy and Victoire made gave me a real sense of tradition and camaraderie between the two, so it was especially poignant that he didn't show up. Like, he took something serious and sacred and just ignored it, so right off the bat you know he's got to have a pretty big reason to do so.

I also appreciated the small detail about how Victoire and Sara had a compartment party on the train to celebrate their last time on the Hogwarts Express, and that stepping foot on that train again would be like cheating since they'd already bid their goodbyes to it. It brings back that whole feeling of closing one chapter, and all of the traditions of being that age and saying goodbye to so many years of being shoved into classrooms with the same people. Really, really well-written.

The underwater scene was intense! Your descriptions of the canyon and the chute and the snails was vivid. Rotten luck about the hippocampus, but watching her transform into a snidget was very interesting. I like reading about perils and adventures in stories, so this chapter was like a feast for the eyes.

I'm really enjoying this story!

:)

Author's Response: Who indeed?!


I actually re-wrote where the graduation scene was set from the original draft. I did it to align more to a Hogwarts expected graduation, but I realized when I did how much I'd learned since first publishing the chapter. I'm so excited to hear it works for you!

Vic is tough (and will need to be coming up) even though she may not always be convinced of that fact. The reason Teddy didn't show is big, and I'm hoping readers stick with me to get it.

I can't thank you enough for the awesome comments! I'm so glad we were paired for the exchange, not just because I like hearing what strikes you when you read this, but also because Run has been such a great read.

Take care!
~Ty


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